wasted

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I wonder if they know
how I'm sitting here alone
crying on my bed, with books of poetry pilled up around me.
Trying just to feel
not caring about what
even if it's worstening the pain
crying over childish things
not even reasons
just this huge pain inside
I don't know what it is
don't know where it came from
but it's there and I hate it
hate his impact
the pain it causes
the joy it steals
It makes me unacceptable of love
thinking all this affection is fake
not allowing to feel loved
not even liked nor worthy
just a waste

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