The Night I Was Saved

Chapter Twenty-Five

"Do you want me to walk you up?" Hero nudges his head to the entrance of the Psychology Practice Brixton. It's an ancient-looking brick building, and if you don't know its psychology facility then you wouldn't guess it by the looks of it.

We've been standing next to the car for five minutes now, and I can't seem to move my feet. I can't seem to pull myself over that huge threshold in my head. The closer I come to the entrance, the harder I want to run away.

I want to get into that car and have Hero bring me home. To his home, that feels like our home too. I want to drink tea while I sit on his couch and watch the Christmas tree flicker while Hero and Daisy are sitting in the corner with his legs stretched on the lounge.

I throw a glance at Daisy, who is sleeping in her car seat in the back. Hero's left the engine on so she doesn't wake up, and the simple yet thoughtful action warms my heart because it shows me how well he knows her.

"Jo?" Hero asks, pulling my attention back on him. "You want me to go with you for a sec?"

I shake my head. "No, you should stay with Daisy. I'll be fine." It takes every ounce of strength to mutter out those words, but I know I have to do this on my own. I doubt that Hero's presence will help anyway; I'll probably hide myself in his chest and pretend I'm not here.

As if he senses how I desperately want to hide myself in his chest, he pulls me against him by placing his hands on my sides, and when my front touches his, he moves his arms around me. I clasp the front of his jacket and lean into him. I close my eyes, take a deep breath to smell him, and just enjoy how he makes me feel safe.

He doesn't let me go. He doesn't say anything. He just holds me and lets me feel that he is here for me, and even though I hate the thought of letting go, this does help me. It's giving me strength.

After a good minute, I take another deep breath to pull myself together before I slowly step out of his embrace. Only when he feels I'm stepping away, he lets me go which I think is the sweetest gesture he could have shown.

His hand slides underneath my chin and lifts my head so I'm meeting his green, worried eyes. "You will be. I know you will," he says, referring to what I said before he took me in his arms. He offers me a small smile and then leans down so his lips touch my forehead. "Dais and I will be right here when you're done."

I nod once, wishing that the two hours were already over and that they were waiting for me now. "Okay."

"Hey," he whispers, his head leaning down and putting his forehead against mine. "You can do it. I know you can." With another kiss on my forehead, he pulls away and steps back so he isn't touching me anymore. "Go," he mumbles, giving me an encouraging nod and smile.

I give him a small smile as well before taking a deep breath. I throw one last glance at Daisy, her sleeping form bringing a bigger smile on my face as I realize who I'm doing this for. It's all for her. I need to do this, for her.

I need to do this so I can be the best mom for her. So we have a good future. So she won't ever suffer from my trauma.

I turn and walk to the door, not looking back because I know that if I do, I'll run back and start the whole charade of saying goodbye again. Way too soon I reach the entrance, and after taking another deep breath I push open the door.

Inside, I'm met with an interior that I didn't expect given what kind of facility this is. I expected white walls and plastic furniture, but it's the complete opposite. The walls are a light-brown shade, and there is a big, yellow couch to my left. On the wall hang numerous paintings, all with bright, happy colors. My surroundings help me calm somewhat, and the nerves have subsided a little as well.