The Night I Was Saved

Chapter Forty-Six

"We've got the names."

I'm standing in the kitchen with Daisy in my arms, frozen as I look at Hero's phone that's lying on the counter in front of me. It's on speaker, and on the other end, Hanson has just announced both my deepest wish and biggest fear.

Next to me, Hero seems frozen too. I'm still looking at the phone, but I am aware that his gaze is solely on me. I feel it, just like I feel that he's just as shocked and overruled as I am.

They've got names.

"Tell me." My voice is soft but demanding. It's something that I don't immediately recognize as my own, but the last few weeks have changed me, and step by step, I'm starting to get familiar with it.

For a moment, Hanson doesn't speak. I'm not sure if it's because he's distracted or because he didn't hear my demand. And just when I want to repeat my request louder and even more determined, I hear him take a breath.

"I'd like to tell you a little more about how we got them first."

I shake my head, even though I'm aware that he can't see me. "No. Give me the names. I want them first."

I don't know why it is so important for me to hear the names. I've only ever known the name Leonard, and after Hero saved me, it was that name that made what I'd been through real. It was that name that pained me. That owned me. But now, there are more names. And the need to feel it takes me by surprise completely.

Hero wisely doesn't speak. He's letting me do this, and I appreciate it greatly. But I think he senses all the different emotions -familiar and unknown- that rush through me at this moment because without saying anything, he takes Daisy from my hands.

She makes a sound that Hero and I are convinced is laughing, and sure enough, a smile is forming her lips as Hero cradles her against his chest. Her blue eyes are looking at his face in almost an adoring way, and even though the mood is heavy, I see Hero melt when he looks at her too. A small, sweet smile -that he reserves only for my daughter- is his answer to her, followed by a hushing sound in hopes she'll stay quiet and won't interrupt the phone call.

She's fourteen weeks old today, and she's getting wiser by the minute. It's hard to believe that the chubby, happy baby that Hero is holding right now, is the same small, helpless doll that I gave birth to three and a half months ago.

She's changed so much already, even though she is still small. She makes sounds now, and she recognizes me and Hero too. Her smile can light a whole room, and since a few days, she has discovered her feet which she brings to her mouth every chance she's got.

"Josephine," Hanson breaks my thoughts at the other end of the line. "I really think you should-"

"No, Hanson. The names. Please," I interrupt.

In the past weeks, I've talked to Hanson so many times, the wall that was there the first time we spoke is gone. I've yelled at him when he wanted me to tell even more than I already did, cursed at him when he asked for more details. I've cried in his presence more times than I care to admit, and he is one of the persons that can bring out that urge to fight in me.

"Is Hero with you?" He asks, sounding defeated which tells me he's giving in.

"I'm here," Hero pipes up before I have time to answer. His face is tensed, even though Daisy has a death grip on his lip. Her tiny fingers are wrapped around his full lower lip, making it difficult for him to speak normally.

"Good," Hanson answers. "Jorge Amires, aged sixty-five." He throws out the name and age in one breath, almost like he's ripping off a band-aid. There's disgust in his words, no doubt, but I can hear the anger and relief too.