The Night I Was Saved

Chapter Forty-Eight

I pull the door shut behind me with more force than I intended. I feel weird, the need to breathe is more persistent than it normally is. I recognize it from that other time, weeks ago, when she went on and on about how broken she was.

I couldn't listen to it. It hurt me to hear her talk about herself like that. Just like now. I'm hurt. Hurt that she thinks I would leave her and Daisy. I don't understand why she still thinks I'd leave her, after everything.

I'm not only hurt. It angers me too. For the first time, I think I'm actually mad at her. Not extremely, and maybe it's more annoyance once the adrenaline is gone, but I'm definitely not happy with her now.

I need some space.

While the lift takes me down to the garage, I take my phone from my pocket. I open WhatsApp and then click on my conversation with dad. Once the lift alerts me I'm on the right floor, I throw him a quick text with the question if he's home.

I then walk to my bike. It's parked next to the car I bought two weeks ago, and for a moment I doubt which one I should take. The choice is rather easy; I need some speed to clear my head. For just a moment, I need to feel like I did before I found her in that hell-hole. For just a few moments, I need to feel carefree.

Because fuck, all the emotions and feelings that I've gained since I met Jo and Daisy are starting to take their toll. The idea of something happening to him makes me panic more with each passing day, and now that the trial is happening, I'm dead scared of losing them.

I can't bear the idea of losing them.

My phone buzzes, letting me know dad has replied. He's confirmed he's home, and I'm fucking happy he is. I need to talk to someone that understands me, and I think my dad will.

Man-to-Man. Father-to-Father in a way, almost, I think.

I first open the back of the Kia Ceed I bought. It's still sportive although it's a station car, but it has enough room for Dias and all the things we need to take with us when we leave the house. It might even fit more than one baby if the future will grant us that.

And right here, these thoughts, are what's making Jo's statings of moments ago even more painful. While she thinks I'm running for the hills when all this is over, I'm planning in overload. Fucking hell, in my mind, I see us married and with another baby for sure. Maybe even two eventually, so Dais will have enough siblings to play with, just like I had.

I shake off the thought, for now, grabbing my helmet from the trunk before throwing it shut once more. Then, I start my bike, and within a few minutes, the nice breeze that hangs around London turns persistent as speed clears my mind until I arrive at my dad's place.

***

"How are Josephine and Daisy?" Dad asks as he walks in with two coffee. He's wearing trackies, and his glasses are still on his nose, so I think he was working.

"Yeah, good," I mumble, not wanting to throw out my problems from the get-go. I haven't seen him in six weeks, so I should probably ask how he is doing first. "You? You good?"

Dad met Jo and Daisy six weeks ago. He came to my house, and we had lunch. At first, Jo was timid and nervous, I could tell by literally every little movement she made. But dad felt it, and he handled it with care.

He kept his distance from her, but especially from Daisy, and the more small talk he made, the more I saw Jo relax. Eventually, she was able to participate in the conversation and even showed a proper smile several times. Daisy a doll, as always. She smiled at dad like he wasn't a complete stranger, and I could tell dad was charmed by her.