The Night I Was Saved

Chapter Forty-Nine

"I'm just going to turn off the stove," Hero mumbles as I feel his grip on me subside. In reaction, I'm clenching onto him even more, so eventually, he only has one arm that he can reach out to turn it off given the other one is still occupied by my daughter. As the sound of boiling water slowly fades away, Hero wraps his arm around me once more. This time, I feel how he nuzzles his face in my hair as well, inhaling right after. "I won't lose you in all the chaos, love. I promise," he then mumbles.

Ever since I met him, he seems to have a thrid eye for what's going on inside my head and what I need to hear. He always says the right things, always managed to calm me when I lost myself in thoughts, and now, as we're transferring to a different stage, he knows just what to say to reassure me. It's remarkable.

"I don't know what the future holds for me," I warn him, simply because I have to. While I feel strong with Hero with me, it's all just a memory when I'm alone. When I'm alone, trauma, doubt, fear, and pain overrule all my senses. And while I'd love to depend on Hero for the rest of my life just because it would mean not facing everything, I know I can't.

I can't because Daisy deserves more. I can't because I deserve more than that. For Daisy, I want to be strong. I want her to have a role model in me; a strong woman that fought back. I want her to know that whatever happens, she's just as strong.

"Nobody knows that, silly one. I don't know what I'll be like in ten years. But I don't care." He leaves a kiss on top of my head. "What I do know, is that I want you. I want you now, I'll want you tomorrow, I'll want you when we're fucking sixty years old. I want you, Jo. You, your traumas, your fears, I want everything that is you." He pulls back a little, making sure our gazes connected. "You just have to give it to me."

His eyes are shining, with emotion but also with a hint of excitement. His green eyes have pulled me out and taken me back to the present so many times before, just like they do now.

"I don't know how long it will take me to give everything to you."

He shakes his head, swallowing visibly. "I'll wait," he simply says. "For as long as you need me to." I know he means it. Now that I think about it, he has always waited for me. Even when we were at the hospital. "But if you want, we can search for things that help you outside of therapy."

I frown. Outside of therapy? What else is there? "Like what?"

His free hand finds a strand of hair and he laces it around his finger. "Like self-defense classes? I've had them as part of my job, and we get a six-monthly recap as well. We can find you a gym, maybe even go together if you want?"

Somehow, the thought of going to the gym frightens me hugely. Ever since I'm free, the only big group of people I've been around is Hero's family. I can't imagine going to a public place like that.

"Can't you teach me?" I quietly ask, and almost immediately I see a soft smile play around his features.

"That kind of messes with the purpose," he chuckles, shaking his head as his thumb wipes over my cheek. My face falls even though I know what he means, and that seems to push him over the edge. "How about I teach you the basics? Once you have a little more confidence, we can take another step. Sounds good?"

I'm not immediately convinced. Because how long will teaching me those basics take? If it's done in two weeks, I'm not ready to go out in the open either. But because I trust Hero to know what he's doing, I nod my head anyway. I guess this is part of becoming my own person too.

"Since we can't eat this," Hero pipes up, stepping away from me so he can stir in the pan with my attempted dinner. "Wanna order in?"

"I'm sorry," I apologize again but Hero shakes his head dismissively.