Lust, Lost & Levi||Book 2: Love, Lies and Levi

Chapter 9: PT.4

You opened the door to your room, out of breath and you slammed it shut, with your back pressed against it. "Fuck." You groaned out to yourself, throwing your hands in your hair. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!" You walked over to your bed and threw yourself on it.

You probably just broke the love of your life's heart, just because of your own fears. You could feel those stupid tears now growing in your eyes and you stood up and rubbed them to stop yourself from crying as quick as possible.

What have you done?!

You were all over the place at this point. You didn't even want to get married, so why the fuck were you crying?

As more tears and stupid thoughts filled your head, you needed help... you needed to find someone who could help.

You needed Ava.

You opened the door to your room slowly, peeking out to see if maybe Levi was out there coming to you, but you imagined not, considering you basically ran away from him after saying he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. But seeing as he wasn't anywhere in sight, you scurried your way down the halls and ran to Ava's room.

You didn't even bother knocking as you opened the door to find Ava already passed out, her face buried in her pillow and snoring. You reached for her, shaking her a bit as you whispered her name. You heard her let out a small groan and she batted your hand away.

"Ava please." You practically whimpered and she turned to face you right away.

"(Y/n)? What's wrong?" She now shifted over for you to lie in bed with her. You got under the sheets and she took you in her arms as soon as she heard the first sob leave your mouth. "What happened?" She asked calmly now stroking your hair.

"I'm so lost right now." You cried out in her chest.

"Was he cheating on you?" You could hear the concern in her voice.

"No.. No, the girl was the daughter of a jeweler, she helped him get a ring for me. A-and- and he asked me to meet- to me- meet him-" You couldn't even form a sentence, you were in a complete panic.

"Okay first calm down." She now held your head to look up at her and she shushed you as she wiped at your tears. "I'm assuming he asked you to marry him," she looked down at your hand, "and I'm assuming you said no." and you nodded softly.

"N-no." You said, as she continued to wipe away your tears. "He just said he loved me and that he wanted to marry me, b- but he didn't ask the question." You sniffled after almost every word. Ava now looked at you confused.

"So? Wait... You're upset because he didn't ask you to marry him?"

"No!" You whined out and she covered your mouth right away.

"Okay, first of all you're going to have to be much quieter than that, it's late, people have to get up early tomorrow." She whispered but very aggressively. "So why are you crying?" She asked more calmly.

"I don't know." You admitted. "I love him, I really do, but I don't want to get married, and I'm scared that if I say no, he won't love me anymore."

"(Y/n)... That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard." She said plainly. "That's not how love works. Marriage isn't what defines love. Both my parents are madly in love with each other and they are not married." Your breathing stilled itself a bit. "My brother however, he's married and also madly in love with his wife. Even though I don't fucking like her... but that's beside the point." She continued. "Love is an emotion one feels for another, and it can be shown in more ways than one." She pushed some of the hair out of your face, and tucked it behind your ear. "Marriage is just one of the hundred ways of showing you love someone... even then, I've seen people married and not in love." She gave you a disappointed look. "Think of marriage as more of a promise... A promise to be by each other's side until the end."