𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱 norenmin

2: strangers & voicemails

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NA JAEMIN.

I really can't help it.

It's been 2 years yet I can't let go.

I see him everywhere but I cannot feel his embrace.

I long to run into his arms once more; the scent of vanilla and honeycomb combining, intoxicating me. It's got to the point where people have begun to worry.

But I don't need anyone. I just need Renjun.

Even my parents, who never approved of my relationship with Renjun, are some of my most frequent visitors. They beg me to go to a counsellor, a psychologist, anyone. But I only wish to talk to him.

In my dreams, I am by his side once more, content; yet when the time comes to wake up, the realization hits me again like a knife to my heart.

Because my life is a vivid nightmare that never ends.

I would rather not wake up at all.

"Excuse me? Excuse me, sir? You've been standing in the middle of the road for five minutes now... are you alright? Do you need any help?" I snap out of my thoughts and realize that I am indeed standing in the middle of a random street.

How I got here? I have not a clue.

I go to quickly thank and apologize to the man in front of me so I can leave, but he stops me.

"Lee Jeno. I'm around the same age as you, I think? Apologies for intruding but you just looked so... lost, so if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to give me a call."

With that, he abruptly hands me a slip of paper with his number on it and walks back to his car, still stopped in the middle of the street.

As sweet as his random act of kindness was, I don't want to call him, not ever.

I only want to hear the gentle, softly spoken boy who owns my heart still, three years after he left me in this broken place. And so I do what I've done a thousand times before.

I call him.

This number is currently unreachable. Please leave a message after the beep.

"Renjun, it's me. I miss you so much I can barely breathe. I feel like I'm an empty shell of the person I was, like I've lost my entire sense of purpose. I wish I could see you. I need you. I just need you..."

And before I know it, I'm breaking down again.

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