Tears Were Shed, Blood Was Drawn.

four

I have been repeating the same schedule every day for about a week. I woke up from my trance next to the window by my alarm. I walked over and shut it off. I turned around to see my window. The images flashed through my head again.

 The windows open and I fall, the pain subsiding and my hair flows with the wind as my limp body falls from the window. 

The images flashed and I snapped out of it. I walked over to my window and opened it, looking down to the ground. ' if I did jump I'd have to dive headfirst and hopefully break my neck because it really wasn't that far I only lived on the second floor so jumping head first would be the only option.

I was kicked from my thoughts again by my second alarm going off telling me I had to leave for school. ' how long had I been sitting there looking out that window? I don't know but it had to be a while because I already had to leave.

 I threw on my clothes and felt how weak I had gotten without food or sleep. My phone buzzes and I pull it out of my pocket looking at the text. Kuroo has been texting me every morning and night to make sure I'm ok. "Hey are you good?" he says and I reply by saying yes. I don't feel like texting a full sentence.

My day goes on as usual, and I have practice with my team. I was a lot slower than usual and the team could tell.

" hey henna are you ok?" "hey, kenma you look tired, make sure you sleep?" "hey are good dude you are a lot less lively today" I only respond with yes to all of them. 

I really don't feel like talking today. I make my way back home to see my mom's car in the driveway. ' god I hope she's asleep' i think as I walk up to the door grasping the cold handle. I walk in and see her sitting in the kitchen.

"Oh look the brat came home" "I wish I didn't," I say under my breath so only I can hear it. She gets up and walks over to me.

 I walk past her and make a b-line for my room. I finally make it and lock my door. My heart started to race and my vision became blurry. I sat on the floor and let the sinking feeling wash over me. 

I get up and make my way to the bathroom and open the drawer. I take the blade in the hand and look at it. ' i will just cut enough to make it hurt. I don't need to pass out tonight' i thought as I flipped the cold blade between my fingers. 

This sinking feeling was bad. I wasn't sinking anymore. I had fully drowned, the water-filled my lounge and the air had fully escaped. 

My head hurt and I was too tired to do much. Something needed to change. I thought about how deep to cut and then sliced, again, and again, and again, over and over. I looked at the blood as it fell from my wrists.

 I sat down and let it all flow. The world got darker and darker as I slowly slipped away.

-------------------------

I slowly opened my eyes and saw a bright light above me. I could hear voices in the background. It sounded familiar, who is this? "Kuroo~," I say.

 My voice is small and raspy as if I had been sick for months. A blurry figure appears above me grabbing my hand. I pull away not knowing who it is. My vision starts to clear and I see the messy-haired boy above me. 

"Kenma- oh thank god," he says, calling in other people. "Where am I?" I ask. "You're in the hospital, " Kuroo says, the events all ran through my head again like a movie, the cutting, and the blood. 

"Were my calculations off" I whispered ' did I cut too deep and pass out from blood loss, what happened?

"No, they weren't off," a woman wearing a white robe said as she approached me. "The cuts aren't why you're here, kenma." 

" well, what happened?" I genuinely do not know what happened anymore. "The cuts are part of it but you passed out because you haven't eaten or slept in weeks," she says flipping through the papers on her clipboard. 

Kuroo's head whips to me with a face of sadness and disbelief. Our eyes meet and I look away, not able to look at him anymore.

 "I-is that true kenma?" he asks, his voice breaking as he spits out the words. I sit there silent for a second trying to avoid the question. "Kenma?" "yes it's true, I guess I never noticed," I say quietly hoping he didn't hear and would just forget the question.

"How did I even get here?" I ask looking around the room. 'Well it wasn't my mom, she would have left me there to die for sure. 

How did I get here? "I texted you after practice like I have been since you know what. And you never answered so I drove to check on you and saw you on the floor in the bathroom, out cold. 

You scared me you know that" he sounded so sad. Why do I care about him so much, he's the only person I care to talk to. Why? "I-i'm sorry, thank you for bringing me here, God knows my mom wouldn't have. Thank you"

"Now kenma you are going to have to be here for a while until your weight goes up and you start eating on your own," she said before walking out of my hospital room.

 "I hate eating, it's so pointless," I said looking at the white walls of my room. I look over towards kuroo and see his elbows resting on his knees and his face in his hands. " Come here," I said motioning for him to come to lay next to me on the one-person bed. 

He slowly got up and made his way over to my bed. "I thought I was going to lose you kenma," he said, pulling me into his grasp. I layed there hugging the kuroo so he wouldn't fall off my bed. 

here is an extra long one t make up for the short ass chapters before this I hope you enjoy it and remember there will not be trigger warnings when it comes to things like this I have warned you at the beginning of the book so read at your own risk.