Tears Were Shed, Blood Was Drawn.

fifteen

I shut off the water and wrapped myself in a towel desperately trying to stay warm in this new cold air. I opened the drawer of my bathroom cabinet and there it was. The once shiny blade I had used. It was now red from the stains of my last incident, the time I was sent to the hospital. I stood there looking at it. Remembering how nice it felt to see the red liquid dripping down my arms. To feel the pain that shot up and down them as I slid the sharp blade horizontally across my wrist. The images came back, but not bad ones. They didn't have that dark ominous feeling like the times before this. It felt warm and cozy like it was a fever dream. Something I needed to do.

The cold blade dragged across my wrist as the blood started to pool on the floor. I felt warm. I felt... great. My arm became numb as I continued to cut. Again, and again, and again. The process repeated. I opened my eyes to see I was still in the bathroom, with a towel wrapped around my torso. I looked down at my arms to see they were perfectly fine only scars from my old cuts were there. A slight frown showed on my face, I caught myself and went back to my regular bored expression.

I was somewhat disappointed that I didn't actually do it. It felt amazing, like all the weights on my shoulders had been lifted one by one every slice lifted another 10 pounds.

I slowly walked out of the bathroom and got dressed in my usual sweatpants and hoodie. I only wore a short sleeve shirt at home where no one could look at my wrists or see how skinny I was, during practice I would wear baggy long sleeve shirts to cover up all my scars and bruises and it also helped my arms from getting all red while we receive.

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I woke up the next morning just like the rest, my alarm blaring in my ear telling me to wake up. I woke up and got out of the war covers that were now dispersed in a mess on my bed. I unplugged my switch and shoved it into my bag as I quickly ran down the stairs so I wasn't late for morning practice.

I made my way into the gym and saw everyone already practicing setting back and forth. "Hey, kenma, where have you been, we were waiting for you?" kuroo said as he graciously bumped the ball back to yaku. "Oh sorry, I must have just slept in" I slowly said in my regular monotone voice. Today was not going to be good and I could tell. That sinking was extra relevant today. I could feel myself slowly slipping away as I stretched my arms.

The world was slowly turning gray, it was nothing I have seen before but this was different it was like it was actually turning gray. Soon my vision got darker and darker. I knew exactly what was happening. I walked over to kuroo " hey I'm not feeling good I will be right back," I said as I quickly walked out of the gym before he could question me. I ran into the school and straight to the vending machine. I knew I was gonna pass out sooner or later if I didn't eat. I guess I just forget, food is something I really don't find necessary. It just tasted like nothing. I had to eat it quickly because I hadn't eaten in at least 3 days. Yes, I drank water but only on occasions. During practice, I only drank it so kuroo didn't yell at me to stay hydrated.

I got back to practice quickly but right before I made it into the gym my vision got worse I knew what was happening so I yelled out "hey s-someone n-nur-nurse p-please" that's all I could get out before I hit the floor and my vision was completely black.

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I woke up and saw kuroo sitting in a chair next to me. "oh not again" I said to myself but I guess I was a little bit too loud. Kuroo looked over at me with wide eyes. "Kenma thank god I didn't even know what happened all I heard was you say nurse please before you hit the ground," he said and before I knew it I was wrapped in the warm embrace of his large muscular arms. My face turned red out of embarrassment. " oh kenma are you okay your face is really red." "yeah I'm okay," I said but before I could move he placed his lips on my head. My face got even redder as he pulled away. "Well you don't have a fever your head feels normal"

"Yeah I'm okay," I said as I slightly sat up more to stand up. I stood up and almost fainted again, " wow I really need to eat more" I quietly said to myself as I sat back down on the hard leather bed. After about 10 minutes of getting used to standing I and kuroo made our way back to class.

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School had ended and practice was finished. I sat outside the front gate of the school waiting for Musa to pick me up for training. Right as he pulled up in the sleek black car that looked a little too expensive for this city. Kuroo walked off the school grounds and made his way over to me. ' oh no please don't come over here kuroo I already have a hard time keeping this from you and you talking to my partner isn't gonna help. " hey kenma where are you going?" kuroo askes. " oh I'm just getting a ride home from my uncle." I said looking down at the floor so he doesn't see my lying eyes.

Right then the worst possible thing happened, Musa, rolled down the window. "Hey kenma let's go, we are gonna be late!" he slightly yelled from the car window. "Oh, shit," I said under my breath. "What was that kenma?" kuroo said looking down at my anxiety-filled body. " oh nothing. Hey, I'll be there in a minute!" I yelled back at Musa. " so who is he?" kuroo questioned as he looked at me. "oh it's just m-my uncle." I lied, once again I lied right to his face and I didn't even feel a pang of remorse for it.

"Well, I have to go bye!" I quickly spat out as I made a b-line for the car. I got in and slammed the door shut immediately opening my mouth to yell at Musa for his rude interruption. But he got to it first, "soo who was that?" he asked looking back at me with a raised eyebrow. "Nobody you need to be concerned with?" I spat back. " wow must be really important if your voice changes when you talk about them" he stated once again looking back at my now flushed face. "Oh look at those red cheeks does kenma have a crush," he said with a chuckle at the end.

" shut the fuck u and get going we are going to be late and the boss is gonna be mad, and I don't need to deal with that anymore" I stated with my regular monotone voice. He just sat there looking at my once red cheeks. "Are you deaf did you not hear what I just said?" I punched him in the arm to make him move. I hate when people look at us without talking. Well, I actually don't like when people talk to me at all but it all adds up to me not wanting to make human contact.

We drove until it was almost sunset. My mother never cared where I was or if I was even alive so I usually just trained at night. We finally got to the base and I walked into the bathroom to change. I put on my long sleeve shirt and sweatpants so no one could see the scars on my arms.

I made my way out to the gym and I and Musa continued to train and work out. we had just finished a long run," how in the hell do you not get heatstroke when you wear a sweatshirt and pants like that?" Musa said, doubling over with exhaustion.

" It's nothing, I'm fine," I said almost panting. Are you sure why don't you just take it off kenma I'm not gonna make fun of you," he said. " okay but if you make fun of me I will kill you" I said giving him a quick death glare from my spot in the corner. 'This is it, he is gonna see all of them all of the scars on my arms and shoulders.' i thought as I slowly but surely took off the sweatshirt that had been concealing my scars for so long.

I pulled it over my head and his eyes widened as his mouth fell open. " k-kenma" he said but I interrupted him " you said you wouldn't say anything so shut your mouth and let's get back to training." he slightly looked away from me then looked back "I actually never expected you to have gained that much muscle, you look shredded compared to the first time I saw you." "Yeah well that's what happens when you work out every day," I said quietly as I walked back to the middle of the padded sparring room.

We finished scarring and I had just gotten out of the shower. I walked over and sat on the couch pulling out my switch. Musa walked past me and made his way to the boss's office. 'Hmm~ I wonder what he could be talking about in there?'

sorry for now editing this one as much I just got really lazy, but it is a lot longer than most of the other chapters so I hope you enjoy *bows and dice rolls back into the hobbit hole*