Tears Were Shed, Blood Was Drawn.

Untitled Part 18

I shut off the water and wrapped myself in a towel desperately trying to stay warm in this new cold air.

 I opened the drawer of my bathroom cabinet and there it was. The once shiny blade I had used. It was now red from the stains of my last incident, the time I was sent to the hospital.

 I stood there looking at it. Remembering how nice it felt to see the red liquid dripping down my arms. To feel the pain that shot up and down them as I slid the sharp blade horizontally across my wrist.

 The images came back, but not bad ones. They didn't have that dark ominous feeling like the times before this. It felt warm and cozy like it was a fever dream. Something I needed to do.

The cold blade dragged across my wrist as the blood started to pool on the floor. I felt warm. I felt... great. My arm became numb as I continued to cut. 

Again, and again, and again. The process repeated. I opened my eyes to see I was still in the bathroom, with a towel wrapped around my torso. 

I looked down at my arms to see they were perfectly fine only scars from my old cuts were there. A slight frown showed on my face, I caught myself and went back to my regular bored expression.

I was somewhat disappointed that I didn't actually do it. It felt amazing, like all the weights on my shoulders had been lifted one by one every slice lifted another 10 pounds.

I slowly walked out of the bathroom and got dressed in my usual sweatpants and hoodie. I only wore a short sleeve shirt at home where no one could look at my wrists or see how skinny I was, during practice I would wear baggy long sleeve shirts to cover up all my scars and bruises and it also helped my arms from getting all red while we receive.

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I woke up the next morning just like the rest, my alarm blaring in my ear telling me to wake up. I woke up and got out of the war covers that were now dispersed in a mess on my bed. 

I unplugged my switch and shoved it into my bag as I quickly ran down the stairs so I wasn't late for morning practice.

I made my way into the gym and saw everyone already practicing setting back and forth. "Hey, kenma, where have you been, we were waiting for you?" 

kuroo said as he graciously bumped the ball back to yaku. "Oh sorry, I must have just slept in" I slowly said in my regular monotone voice. 

Today was not going to be good and I could tell. That sinking was extra relevant today. I could feel myself slowly slipping away as I stretched my arms.

The world was slowly turning gray, it was nothing I haven't seen before but this was different it was like it was actually turning gray.

 Soon my vision got darker and darker. I knew exactly what was happening. 

I walked over to kuroo " hey I'm not feeling good I will be right back," I said as I quickly walked out of the gym before he could question me. 

I ran into the school and straight to the vending machine. I knew I was gonna pass out sooner or later if I didn't eat.

 I guess I just forget, food is something I really don't find necessary. It just tasted like nothing. I had to eat it quickly because I hadn't eaten in at least 3 days.

 Yes, I drank water but only on occasions. During practice, I only drank it so kuroo didn't yell at me to stay hydrated.

I got back to practice quickly but right before I made it into the gym my vision got worse I knew what was happening so I yelled out "hey s-someone n-nur-nurse p-please" that's all I could get out before I hit the floor and my vision was completely black.