Set My Heart Ablaze

Ch. 21

Mya's POV

There was no grand funeral. Just a small gathering at her burial site with close family and a few friends. I wasn't allowed to watch tv so I knew it was there. Everyone talking about her death. The rising super model killed in a car crash after saving her drug addicted sister.

I know they had a microscope over our family. Who my moms are as parents. Can lesbians actually raise good kids? Is Billie Eilish a bad influence on her own children?

I saw her body in the casket. She looked like she was sleeping. They made it look like she was smiling and everything. Her hair curled and makeup minimal. She wore her favorite dress that she was gifted with after her first runway show by the Hadid sisters. I remember she cried for a week about it because she felt like she was finally getting recognition.

On her wrist was a gold bracelet from Tiffany's that mama gave each of us a few years ago. It had a few lyrics from the song mama wrote about us engraved on it. Mama was being strong. Although I know she cried I never saw it.

Mom on the other hand cried like a baby everyday leading up to her burial. She couldn't even pretend to be strong. I don't blame her. She has always had a fear of losing us in a car accident, but she never said why.

I think the day of the accident my sister and I both took a piece of their hearts in two very different ways. Mila won't ever get the chance to put her piece back though.

For me everything happened so fast. One minute I was in the hospital then as soon as I was released we were burying my best friend. That same evening I was placed back in the facility I tried to run from.

It's been three months. I've lost weight from barely eating and I haven't slept more than two hours on my own. When I do, I see her face. Her eyes staring at me in that car and I panic, waking up covered in sweat every time.

Sometimes my doctor gives me medicine to help me sleep. When that happens I'm usually out cold and don't dream of anything.

My moms don't visit because they were instructed not to. Apparently they baby me and hinder my progress. I miss them.

I'm so numb most days that I think I've lost my mind. The only contact with people I get is with my doctors and nurses. I don't know when I'm getting out or if I even want to anymore. I'll probably just hurt everyone again.

"Mya," a voice calls out to me and I turn from the window to see someone I don't recognize.

She's wearing scrubs, but she looks too young to be a nurse. Her black hair is pulled into a ponytail and she's not wearing any makeup.

"I'm Leah," she speaks again. "I'm new."

I nod slowly, unsure of what to say.

"They told me to take you outside for some fresh air," she smiles.

After my shoes are on I follow her outside to walk the massive property. This is something that I actually enjoy doing whenever I'm allowed.

"How are you feeling today?" Leah asks after minutes of silence.

"I'm ok," I mumble, my voice coming out raspy.

"Good. Is it ok if I get to know you? I wasn't told much about you when they assigned me to be your primary nurse."

"Why you?" I question.

She shrugs. "Maybe because I'm young and they thought we could relate. Whatever the case, I hope I can help you."

I look over at her and her tan skin is glowing in the afternoon sun. She's staring straight ahead with a small smile on her face.

"My mom is Billie Eilish," I say blandly, wanting to get that out of the way.