Set My Heart Ablaze

Ch. 29

Blaze's POV

Love is so messy. Like I think I want to kill myself type of messy. I've spent all of my life avoiding it because I never thought it was worth the hassle. My parents supposedly loved each other and that was a shit show. They were also supposed to love me and look at how that turned out. I never wanted to love anyone and risk them breaking my heart, so I didn't.

Then I met Mya.

Beautiful, sassy, and funny without even trying. I knew the moment I looked into her eyes while we were standing in her bedroom the first time that I was in trouble. I felt it, love that is. It hit me all at once and kept nagging at me like an annoying bug. I tried so hard to fight it, but something about her made me cave in.

Soon all I wanted was to be around her, touch her, smell her perfume. I wanted to watch her stuff her greedy little mouth with insane amounts of food and then fall asleep in my arms because she was so full. I could hear her giggling even when she wasn't around and see her smile when I closed my eyes. There were some nights when I dreamed about marrying her and having kids.

Every time I got the pleasure of being in between her legs was like heaven. The way her body would respond to my touch and she would cum on command. Tasting her on my lips and feeling her wrapped around my fingers was enough to make me never want to be with anyone else. Even when the sex was rough we were doing more than just fucking. We were making love. I was pouring my all into every stroke making sure I would be engraved in her memory.

But seeing her in those pictures with that girl, smiling and laughing, did something to me. The way she looks at her, almost in awe. I'm not sure if she ever looked at me like that. To know that she kisses her, and I know what kissing Mya feels like, makes me sick to my stomach. That girl is in love with her. I know it because I am too. It doesn't take long for it to happen and despite what Mya might do to her, she won't be able to stop it. Mya isn't someone you can just let go of.

I sat for so long, jaw clenched and phone gripped tightly in my hand, just staring at those pictures. I was angry that I told her I still loved her and hurt that she obviously doesn't feel the same. Of course when she got back to L.A. and called me to meet up I canceled. Then I proceed to feel like shit while staring at her unwrapped birthday gift sitting on my coffee table.

Despite how I feel Mya needs all the support she can get. That's something I don't have. I don't have any friends to vent to or to tell me that's it's ok, not real friends anyway. So I decided to suck it up and text her. It's been a few days but she agreed to hang out.

Now I'm pacing around my apartment praying that when she shows up I can put on smile and pretend I'm not upset. I don't want her thinking that I'm pathetic for feeling blindsided even though she never said she wanted me back in the first place.

A few swift knocks at my front door make me freeze in place and take a deep breath. I slowly walk over, unlocking the door and turning the doorknob.

"Hey," she gives me a smile that makes my heart skip a beat. I haven't seen her in person since her welcome home party and she looks so good. Her jeans cling tightly to her tiny frame and her stomach is on full display from the way her shirt is tied up. Gold frames that match the rest of her accessories sit on top of her now straight jet black hair, her face lightly made up. Her full lips have a light gloss on them and all I can think about is kissing it off.

"Hey. Come in," I smile back.

She walks in hitting me with her sweet scent and giving me a quick view of her ass. I lock the door then follow her to the couch where we both sit awkwardly.

"It's been a while since I've been here," she looks around. "You redecorated?"

"Yeah. I figured it was time for a change," I nod. "You look nice today."

"Thanks," she finally meets my eyes. "So do you."

I reach over and grab her gift off the table and hand it to her. The smile on her face grows as she starts to tear off the wrapping paper.

"If you don't like it I'll understand," I say.

"I'm sure I'll-," she stops mid sentence and stares at the medium sized frame in her lap. "Where did you get this?"

I start to tell her about my search for the perfect gift and how I decided that I wanted to get something meaningful. There was a picture I remembered seeing from the night of the Woman of the Year ceremony. Mya, her moms, and her sister were on the red carpet, but instead of everyone smiling they were all doing something funny, at the request of the photographers I assume. Mya looking heavily annoyed and rolling her eyes, Mila being a rebel with her tongue out and middle finger up, Billie making her signature llama face, and Alissa simply kissing Billie's cheek.

I remember when I saw it and how jealous it made me. You could see all of their personalities shining through and yet they still looked like a happy healthy family. That was something I always wanted and this picture is how Mya should always remember her family. All so different but still the same in the way they never felt the need to put on a show for the cameras. They could laugh at themselves instead of taking things so seriously.

I remembered that picture and went back to find it so I could have an artists paint it and frame it for her. The last photo of them together, no pain or sadness, just a beautiful funny memory.

I watch as tears fall from her eyes onto the glass of the frame as she continues to stare at it. I'm almost afraid to speak, but luckily she does first.

"T-this is perfect," she sniffs and wipes her face. "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome. I'm glad you like it," I smile.

"Come with me," she looks over at me. "I want to show it to her."

I nod knowing exactly what she's referring to. I grab my keys then we take a silent drive to Mila's gravesite. Along the way I suggest we pick up some fresh flowers to put down. When we get there Mya walks over to her plot, hugging the frame tightly to her body. I swap out the wilting flowers for fresh ones then step away to give her some space.

She drops to her knees and immediately starts sobbing. "Millie I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. Please. I miss you so much and I'm trying so hard to be strong for everyone, but I feel so guilty. It should have been me."

I feel terrible hearing her say that about herself and knowing I can't do anything to take her pain away. I stay put, allowing her to get it all out instead of consoling her. She cries for several more minutes before turning the painting around to the tombstone.

"Blaze got me this for my birthday. It's so funny because we would take a picture just like this every year on my birthday and I almost forgot until she did this. Do you remember that?"

I'm blown away by the fact that I had no idea about their little tradition and that somehow I managed to keep it alive at least one more time.

"I hope you like it too since you didn't get to approve it before it was posted," she laughs and I do too.

I stroll back to the car so she can finish her talk alone and when she's ready she joins me looking like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders.

"Thank you again for today," she smiles. "I don't think you know how much I needed this."

"Anything for you babygirl," I squeeze her hand gently. "What now?"

"Feed me," she giggles and for the first time in a while my heart feels a little less broken.

**It's a little short, but I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter as much as I did! Leave me a comment!