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Falling in love

Growing up I always thought love was some beautiful magical thing that people felt. Where you experience sweet shivers run down your spine from just a single glance or touch. I thought collided lips were kisses that were so addicting, you would never want to stop. That cuddling was the way to heal a frown. That the endless i love you's and gentle words were the ones that kept you alive. I still believe all these. It's just along the way that i've grown, i've realized so much more.
They forgot to mention how poweful the whole word itself is. Love. Being so consumed into someone that you start to forget that your happiness matters too. To the point that Lust isn't even enought to satisy you. Where you're standing on the edge & the only reason to not jump is if they promise to stay with you. Where you physically feel vulnerable and you have this non stop aching pain traveling all over your body because the one you love doesn't feel the same. I never thought I'd get to the part where everything is reversed. I came in for a kiss only to find his knuckles down my throat. I thought boys were suppose to mend hearts rather than shatter them. All the kisses that were once amazing became knifes daggerd into my heart. They didn't feel the same. The passion was gone. He was fire & I was thin ice. The more he leaned in, the more I melted. No emotion. I kissed back hoping that it will return. Hoping that the love we once shared was still bearable. The hugs that would take away every ounce of pain I had in me soon became the giver. The late night cuddles I adored turned to me, gasping for air because I was being intoxicated with his devil touch. The I love you's I would never get tired of soon became the most crucial thing to say. Knowing he didn't mean them & that he was only saying them for me to believe them. Not because he needed me to know but because he wanted me to stay in his cage. Where he owned the key & the sad thing is. I let him.
That's the thing about love. It's the most strongest thing in the universe. I loved him in every way you could ever possibly imagine. Adoring the little things he did that he was emberrassed of. Making sure the ciggaretts he smoked, that I inhaled the bad mist for he would be healthy. The thoughts I used to have control over was invaded with every word he ever spilled. I would of died for him. I would of done anything for him. Anything. That's another thing no one warned you about love. It's dangerous. You become blinded because you're so in love you don't see how he didn't adore your little things. How he didn't really love you. How you were always his but he was never yours. Don't ever be the one to love the most. You are in for a broken heart. Don't be silly. You have a lot a love but never enough for the both of you. I thought I had enough love for the both of us. It takes two to be in love.
So be careful. There's a reason they call it falling in love. Just know there's not always some where to catch you. So grow some wings just in case.

c.w