I am not him.. | nomin/renmin

9🎠

Author Pov.

The two boys sat in the car that Jeno drove. Jeno could hear his phone making a noise so he decided to take a look but he didn't want to take his eyes off of the street, so he just searched for his phone without looking. His face went extremely hot when he accidently touched the youngest thigh. He quickly snatched his hand away.

"O-Oh my.. I'm so sorry!"
He was literally shaking inside but the other just giggled cutely, making the oldest heart jump.

"Don't worry, you want me to give you your phone?"
Jeno only nodded slightly, still embarrassed about before.

"You have a text.."
the blonde boy startet.
"..from Yuqi."

Jenos whole body tensed. Why did it tense up?

"She sais tomorrow 1 hour after school."
Jeno felt like he couldn't breathe. All he wanted for the past years was to go on a date with the said girl. But right now all he could do was feel bad about Jaemin reading that. He shouldn't care. He knows the other doesn't care. But ever since he knows about the boys feelings for his Friend, something has changed. His heart seems to quicken its pace whenever the said boy is around. He feels sick when he is not around. Is that really just him being an overprotective friend?
He wasn't so sure anymore. But since he never had liked a boy before he just brushed it off. It was probably nothing.

"You want me to answer her?"
"U-Uh no no. I'll do it later, don't worry"

The rest of the drive was just Jaemin jamming to the music and Jeno trying to brush off his awkwardness.

🎠

Jeno pov.

As we had already worked for quite a while Jaemin was making it obvious he wasn't having it anymore.

"Jenooo-yaaa"
I turned my head, my heart becoming warm at the cute sight. He was laying on his back, facing the ceiling. When his face turned towards me, I couldn't quite read his expression.

"Can I sleep here tonight?"
I felt my heart almost beating out of my chest. Could he see it? I don't know, but he definetely could see my confused face, as he spoke up again.
"I dont really wanna go home today. Things are.. a little messy right now."
For the first time in my life, I saw Jaemin being actually hurt. And it was one of the worst things I had ever seen. I felt my heart crumbling a little when my eyes met his.

I turned around completely facing him now.
"You seemed very happy today?"
He let out a bitter chuckle.
"I was. I am always happy around you."
Here my heart goes again.
"I am not faking it either. But you only see me when I'm around you. You don't see me at home when I'm hurting. The reason you don't notice me being sad is because I never am when I'm around you Nono. But there are parts of my life that no-one sees except for me"
I could feel my heart being as confused about it's feelings as I was.
I wasn't sure if It was beating fast because he felt save around me, or because he was hurt at times and I couldn't see it.
I could see his eyes becoming a little glossy. I had never seen Jaemin cry and I'm honestly not sure anyone ever has. He wasn't going to cry. I knew him too well, he doesn't cry in front of people. But I still wanted to comfort him. The fact that he was being so vulnerable in front of me made my heart heat up.

"Come here"
I widened my arms for him to find comfort in them, which he did.
"Of course you can stay. Stay as long as you want. You don't have to leave ever."
I held him firmly in my arms, not wanting to let him go ever again. I took in his scent, felt his skin, felt his pain. As if I would take it from him with every second I held him.

The noise of his Phone forced the moment to end eventually.
Jaemin took a look and as soon as he did his face got red immediately.
"Who is it?"
He quickly looked up to me and tried to brush it off, but failed.
"O-Oh, n-nothing, no-one I mean."
I couldn't help but smirk at him being all flustered.
"Oh really? Then you don't mind showing me right nana?"
His face got at least three shades redder.
"No! I-I mean naaah, it's boring."
"Hmm I don't think it is, show me nana"
I made my way towards him, my eyes fixed on his phone for a second, and he realised what I was about to do. He quickly ran away from me, making me follow him.
I startled him from behind, my hands gripping around his waist, making us both fall on the ground laughingly. I had quickly put my hand under his head, to not get him hurt.
As our laughters toned down, I started to feel his chest moving heavily under me. The sound of our deep breaths was all that could be heard now. I noticed how close we were. My stomach started to feel warm and everything inside me was swirling around. I was pretty sure he could feel my heartbeat by now. We were now looking into each others eyes intensely.
Was I getting closer? Should I get closer? I don't know anything anymore. Both of us seemed to be waiting for something and then..

"Renjun wants to go on a date with me."

KABUMMM.

I slowly got off of him. I didn't want him to notice .. whatever I didn't want him to notice. Right now, I honestly had no idea what I was feeling or thinking.

"U-Uhu. That's great Nana!"
I tried to be as enthusiastic as possible, which wasn't quite much, so I had to act up a whole lot of it.
"Y-You mean like a real date? With.. With feelings and stuff?"
Jaemin gave me a weak smile. Did he know what had just happened? Because I sure as hell did not.
"Yeah.. I guess so."
I decided to gather it all up inside of me and fake every emotion I had for this statement.
"I am so happy for you Nana. And look, I didn't even have to be your wingman, you did it all by yourself. Looks like he really likes you for you and not for someone a stupid wingman sells you for."
Jaemin now smiled widely.

Mission succeed.

"You wanna watch a movie?"
I smiled at him. because even If I was hurt right now, Jaemin still made me smile with every little laughter he gave me.

While he was watching the movie, I was watching a whole other one. I observed every single movement of his. I loved how his face changed with every scene that was playing. I loved how he would move his body subcontiously, whenever music played in the back. I loved how he would smile again, not like earlier.

I thought about how flustered he got, receiving the message from Renjun.
I took out my phone and decided to get clear with my feelings. And I had to start with the one that I know I do have some sort of feelings for.

🎠

Yuqi

Should we meet up
tomorrow 1 hour after
school?

Yes! Sounds great :)

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I'm sorry for the slightly late update. School is getting more serious again but I'll try to at least post on update per week!
Next chapter is going to be a Donghyuck pov. I think ;)

Thank you so much for reading 🎠♥️