If Only You Knew

Chapter 1

THE PREVIOUS DAY.

Hinata"s P.O.V

I was walking to school, my hands in my pockets. Too deep in thought to hear Kageyama thumping down the walkway yelling something to do with beating me once again. I just kept walking, I wasn't in the mood to race him to the gymnasium, I was so nervous today was the I was going to tell him everything. The day I confess everything. I sighed as I remembered.

- FLASH BACK-

Two days ago I was pushed out a window by some girl who was pushed while being bullied. Kageyama was directly below the window, and him being him, didn't see me until I landed on top of him. I felt something warm and sweet on my lips, it was like fireworks or a spark as big as a bonfire.

I opened my eyes as the soft pressure left my lips only to find Kageyama staring at me I jumped off him bowed over and over again in apology and explained what happened. He remained flustered for most of the day, especially when I was around him. I could see he was tried to make it look like he didn't seem to mind.

I couldn't think of anything else but Kageyama and his lips for the whole day. I was walking home when I realized I was never as close and clingy to any of my other friends. I have more physical contact with Kageyama as well. It hit me there and then;

I'M IN LOVE WITH BAKEYAMA!!!

- END OF FLASHBACK -

I got to the gym later than usual, Tanaka and Nishinoya came up to me and asked me what was wrong. I just shrugged them off, "I'm not feeling well, bad headache." I told them before I walked of to start warming up.

I just finished stretching when Tsukishima walked in with Yamaguchi following close behind him. Everything seemed to be so quiet, though I'm sure it was just me being paranoid. I focused my attention back on Kageyama, he had his eyes locked on something, I followed his gaze, it landed on Tsukishima. I silently gasped, Tsukishima meet Kageyama's eyes, it felt like the whole world had frozen. Tsukishima nodded in Daichi's direction before turning back to Yamaguchi.

I watched Kageyama walk over to Daichi, he told him something in a hushed voice. Daichi looked stunned and surprised at the same time but then he smiled at Tsukishima. Why did Daichi smile?

"Alright everyone, listen up. Kageyama and ... Tsukishima have something to say." Everyone looked at the pair; curiosity and confusion painted on everyone's faces.

'The two boys never got along, they hated each other. Surely this was a mistake. What on earth could they have to announce.' I wondered to myself. But of course the universe hated me right now. It just had to prove me wrong and shatter my heart because at that moment, Tsuki put his arm around Kageyama's waist.

Kageyama took a deep breath and slowly exhaled before he started talking.

"I know this is sudden and probably surprising for all of you but we wanted to get this off our chests before regionals started." Kageyama glanced at Tsukishima who rolled his eyes and shoved him lightly.

"I don't know how it happened but it has and I'm glad it did but..."

"The King had a crush on me and let it slip when I was teasing him. After that I made him squirm under me. In other words we are dating and have been for 5 months now." Tsukishima cut in, not caring how blunt he was, he just smirked at the shade of red Kageyama had on his face..

My body teased up and I froze. My mind went dark.

'No, no no no. I was going to confess my feelings for him, he was going to be mine and mine alone. Why, why did this happen. I don't need this, I'm already stressed about the competition coming up. Telling Kageyama was supposed to help me calm me down. If I got nervous before a game he would kiss my cheek and tell me everything is fine. That we would come out on top. But now, I can't steal him away for weekend practices, games in the park. I can't fall asleep in his lap or be as clingy as I have been or he will realize that I'm acting like we're dating.' I cried to myself, lowering my head and wrapping my arjm around my stomach.

I stayed like this for a while before I realized that everyone else had crowded around the pair smiling and nodding at them. I slowly walked up to Kageyama and Tsukishima, trying to accept that Kageyama will never love me, that he loves someone else.

"Hey Kageyama, this is such a surprise I would have thought that out of anyone you would have ended up with Hinata." I heard someone comment. I winced at the words.

'I need to get over it.' I forced myself to keep walking to the front of the crowd. I swallowed all the emotions that were in my head and pushed them down to my stomach then I cleared my throat.

"Jeez Kageyama, you must be crazy to have fallen for someone like Tsukishima; especially since he's such a huge jerk." I said laughing nervously. "But if he makes you happy then I support you fully." I gave them both a huge fake smile and walked over to Daichi,

"Daichi I don't feel well. I think my headache has gotten worse, can I go home?" Daichi looked puzzled for a moment

"Are you OK Hinata, normally you wouldn't care about a headache when it came to volleyball."

"I've just had a bad start to the day, I banged my head really hard yesterday and it still hurts so much." I smiled weakly at him.

"OK, but come talk to me at anytime about this, I'm always here and so is Sugawara." I nodded my head and grabbed my bag. I waved goodbye to Tanaka and Nishinoya and walked out the door as quickly as possible.

I felt the tears starting to prickle my eyes but I held them back till I was out of the school grounds once I was clear of the school I let the tears flow.

'I was going to confess, why, why tsukishima of all people.' I thought to myself.

After 10 minutes of walking through the local park, I remember that I had left my bike at school, but decided to just walk to school tomorrow to pick it up. I didn't want to risk running into anyone especially not Kageyama.

With that I called mum and told her that practice was cut short and my tires flat. I asked if she could pick me up and hung up.

When I got home I ran to my room dumped my back and flopped down on my bed. I picked up the closest volleyball I had and through it at the wall, it ended up in the rubbish bin. That was the first time I wanted to throw out a volleyball. I looked at it sitting in the rubbish bin and I began to wish I had never play volleyball in the first place. With that I rolled towards the wall with the bear I got Natsu for her 4th birthday