If Only You Knew

Chapter 7

Kageyama's P.O.V

I walked beside him, his hand squeezed mine. Only I didn't respond. I looked over at him, to see he was giving me a weird look.

"You OK?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"You're being very distant lately."

"I just have something on my mind."

"Oh..."

I looked back to the front. Analyzing the trees and sky.

"We're here." I looked to my right, the gymnasium, it's the last place I wanted to be, I didn't want to see his bright, happy, smiling face. I didn't want to have to hear his queues as per who he wants me to set to. I don't want to have to see him stare at his palm in amazement because I, his friend, tossed to him perfectly. I don't want to see him look at me as a friend. I don't want that pain. But instead of voicing my opinions or shedding a tear. I kept my face blank and cold. Just like I did back in Kitagawa Daiichi when my team mates abandoned me. Let me toss to no one. I locked my emotions away, in the darkest part of my mind. Where my fears live, always pushing to be let out, to control my mind and my actions. But right now, with how things have been going, my biggest fear is going to come true.

I walked into the locker room to get changed, I saw Hinata trying to get his practice shirt over his head. I couldn't help but sneak a peek at his perfectly formed abs.

"Oi, idiot, maybe if you undid the buttons you wouldn't have to wear your shirt as a hat." I heard a muffled reply, something along the lines of.

'I know that Bakeyama!'

I change and look around the changing rooms, everyone else had already left. I must be really out of it today. I grab my knee and elbow pads and water bottle before walking into the gymnasium.

Everyone is warming up so I start doing some stretchers before doing some jump serves and receives against a wall until Coach Ukai got everyone to gather around.

"Alright everyone one I want to try this new attack pattern. OK so Hinata you will run past Daichi and call for the toss here and then-" that's all I heard before it all started to fade, I just shut down. After about ten minutes of explaining we got to practicing the new attack move. It took us a while to get used to the move, but by halfway through the lesson we had it down to pat.

"Alright everyone we are going to take a short break!" I heard Daichi yell and Nishinoya and Tanaka jump for joy. I walked over to where I had placed my water bottle and took a drink. I could fear his voice talking to the others.

"Hey Hinata, how do you know that guy?"

"What guy?"

"The Team Captain of Nekoma. I saw you to talking at the movies the other night." I felt my blood start to boil.

"Oh, That's Kuroo, he's my boyfriend." I heard him say which was then followed by a mixed number of reactions from 'what, you're dating a rival team captin!' Or something more along the lines of, 'cool but how do you deal with his twisted personality?' Before we were called back onto the court. I wanted to just walk over to him and rip his head of. How dare he date a guy other than me! When we are about to make a new serve I look over at Hinata and wave him over. I talked to him in a hushed voice.

"You fag, how dare you think you have the right to date someone, yet alone be happy about it. The only thing you are useful for is being a decoy. Otherwise all you are is a waste of space. You need to get you head in the right place. Baka." Then I spat at him and glared. I saw his eyes tear up and glass over.

'Oh no, what have I done.'

I watched Tanaka serve the ball and got ready to toss it to the designated spiker. It came right for me so I got into position and served the ball, aiming it at Asahi, just as coach said to. Only I heard no thud of the ball as it hit the other side of the court, no squeak of sneakers as the people on my team went to high-five. I only heard the smack as my toss hit the ground; on our side of the court. I looked over at the guys. Some were glaring at me while others were comforting a crying Hinata. I felt so sick, I didn't want this to happen not again, I had just finally made friends and actually enjoyed playing Volleyball for fun instead of for my Dad. (A/N I know that isn't true about his dad but oh well.)

I clicked my tongue in fake annoyance to hide my pain and look over at Kei, he's watching me, I guess he saw through my stone cold face because he walked over to me and gave me a hug. I needed the comfort so I just let the fact Hinata was right behind me drift from my mind.

"Do you have any chapstick?"

"Yeah." I reached into my pocket and held it out for him. He took it and started applying it to my lips. I was about to ask him what he was doing but before I could I felt a warm pair of lips on mine. To keep up appearances I kissed back. Kei pulled away. A smirk on his face.

"Thanks," he says looking towards Hinata through the corner of his eyes. "My lips were a little dry." I looked over at Hinata, only to see him speeding off, out of the gymnasium and towards the school's gates and before I could help myself, so was I.

"Hinata, Hinata. Wait!"

He didn't slow down.

"Look I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that to you. I was an idiot. Please just stop. Please. Shouyou I-I..."

'He's running from you, running from me, your demon, just like he did.'  I heard a voice say. I began to slow. Even though I was on his heels.

'Don't leave me in your wake. Don't leave me alone. Please. I'm not losing you too.'

"Shouyou! I love you!