All I Want is You

All I Ever Thought About

“Do you want to watch this movie?” I was sitting in front of my laptop browsing if there were any good movies recently, and John was sitting beside me, looking at me – but his mind seemed to be at somewhere else. He might be physically in my room, but his mind was definitely not.
John seemed to be distracted lately, ever since that encounter in the empty classroom a few months ago. We were still friends like before, and John was still very protective of me – but his mind seemed to be wandering off more frequently. I wondered what it was that was occupying his mind, but when I asked him, he just said it was nothing that I should worry about. He refused to tell me no matter how hard I tried to make him tell me, and I did not want to annoy him, so I had stopped pressing him now.
“When?” John asked, my question bringing his attention back.
“Tomorrow,” I answered.
“I’m afraid I can’t,” John said, his face fell, “Maybe the day after tomorrow, Wednesday, after school?”
“Okay,” I said suspiciously – John was not simply distracted, but he was also busier than he used to be. He said it was family matter that was occupying him, but once again, he said no to telling me what exactly it was.
‘Wednesday, that is! And it’ll be my treat, okay?”
“No—” I remembered how he promised to buy me that crystal bracelet, and I knew he was still on about the plan. I regretted about that a lot, but he still would not let my request go.
“Let it be my treat or we’re not going,” John said sternly.
“Alright then,” I threw my hands up in the air, frustrated. Now he made me feel even worse.
“(Yn),” John grabbed my chin and made me look at him, “I want to. You’re not making me to do that, but I still want to.”
Whoa, how did he manage to always see through my head?

“I can’t stay today – family errands – bye!” John said quickly after he had walked me home. He walked me home every day and before all this weird behavior of John started, he would stay at my home until dinner time, and he would even stay for dinner occasionally.
But now he had turned into the weird John again. He did not have time to stay every day anymore, due to his “family matter”.
I knew it was not his duty to stay with me all the time, but I was worried about him. I hoped nothing bad had happened – his distraction, his lack of time, were getting to me. I cared about him – as a friend at least.
“Okay, bye,” I hugged John briefly and John half-jogged down the street.
I could bear this no more. What was he up to? I had to find out.
I quickly dived into the house and pulled out a pre-written note from my school bag, and placed it on the kitchen counter to tell my parents that I was out and I might be home late, because I honestly did not know how long it would take me to find out what John was up to. I told them that I was with John. Then I ran up to my room to retrieve my bag, on my way, leaving my school bag by the bed. I changed into another jacket so John would not spot me so easily and I bolted out of the house.
I followed John’s trail down the street and put on my cap. I practically ran down the road and found John walking quickly down the sidewalk. I followed him, being as unnoticed as possible.
At last he stopped in front of a car maintenance shop and walked inside. I stopped my footsteps right outside the shop and hid myself in the shadow of the alleyway beside the shop.
“Why are you so late?” a male voice boomed from inside the shop. I heard John mumbling, but I was not sure what it was.
“Anyway, start your work now!” the voice boomed again, and my mind started racing – was he working here? Why? Was it because of that bracelet I said I wanted?
I gulped – I had never felt this bad in my entire life, not even when I got bullied. John should have listened to me and forget about my request! It was just a mindless joke!
Finally I decided to retreat to the coffee shop opposite to the place where John was apparently working at, so I could see what was going on clearer.
I bought a coffee and sat down in the corner of the shop where John would not be able to see me but I could see him. My assumption was right – John had changed into an one-piece uniform and he was kneeling beside an expensive-looking car fixing it. He was deep in concentration, doing his job while a man in his middle age who looked like the person that ran the place spoke beside him with an angry expression. John kept nodding while his hands were working and it broke my heart to see that he had to endure the harsh work, most probably because of me. I could think of none other explanation of why he had to do this.
John, oh John, why were you so stupid? I felt like crying.
I did not know how long had passed – maybe four hours or so, because it was nearly dinner time – and finally John relaxed his posture and stood up beside the second car which he had attended to. He wiped his sweaty brow with his arm and bent to pick up the tool box. He was just about to stand up and put it away onto the shelf when he banged his arm on the shelf as he turned around and stood up. He dropped the box, the tools scattering everywhere and he was clutching his injured arm in pain.
“John!” I gasped aloud and quickly ran out of the coffee shop, across the road and hid outside the shop, against the wall.
“Why are you so careless?” that familiar voice was heard again, and John muttered an apology, I could hear. I peeked around the wall and saw John picking up the tools on the floor and putting them back into the box. I noticed a bruise forming on his forearm, and it further broke my heart into billions of pieces. Oh John…
John went into a room at the back of the shop and a few moments later came out with his own clothes.
“Mr. Stewart,” John went up to the man who just yelled at him and was now working at the desk, “I’ve finished.”
The man glanced up briefly at John and bent down to retrieve something from his desk drawer. He pulled out a stack of money and pulled out a few notes and handed them to John wordlessly.
“Thank you,” John said and counted the money, “Err Mr. Stewart – I think—”
“Well,” Mr. Stewart interrupted John, annoyed, “That’s all you’ll get today, after your lateness and carelessness – you’re just a student working part time, what do you expect? Shut up or you lose the job.”
How dare he! It was absolutely unfair! I could feel my blood boiling in my veins, circulating faster than usual, and I could feel redness creeping into my face. How could he be like that to John? But I could do nothing, and I hated myself!
“Alright,” John’s shoulders slumped, “Thank you Mr. Stewart. Bye, have a nice day!”
How could he still be this nice to that man?
“It’s because of you,” a voice in the back of my head said. Argh!
John was walking in my way, and I quickly dived into the alleyway again.
A few seconds later, I peeked outside and saw John walking down the street in the opposite direction to me. It was not the way home, so I followed him again.
He turned a few corners, and we arrived at a jewelry shop – not an ordinary jewelry shop, but that one that sold the bracelet that caused all these. I was right. John was working because of my stupid self. Because of one sentence that was not meant to be said out loud. He had been working for weeks like this because of ME.
John was staring at the bracelet through the window, and he took out a pile of money, and combined the few notes that he had just received from his mean boss, and started counting.
“Still five more weeks to go,” John whispered to himself.
And that was it. My tears could not be held in anymore. They started falling freely and I quickly turned around and ran home, not caring about the people who were staring on the way – I had a cap on anyway, and that was nothing compared to the hard time John had received for the past few months.