Project Eruri Remastered

Chapter 12

Levi hardly slept, plagued by endless nightmares of titans and death. There was so much blood in his dreams now. When Levi's alarm went off he groaned. It was only the second week of classes. He couldn't skip. Not yet. Levi struggled through class and ate a light dinner before heading to the pool. Once again, swallowed by the swim trunks, Levi walked onto deck. Erwin was swimming again and Levi took a moment to drink the sight in before squatting down at the end of the lane. Erwin popped out of the water.

"Hey there!" He said, smiling. He pulled his goggles off.

"Hey." Levi said.

"You ready?" Erwin climbed out.

"Not really." Levi said. Erwin smiled reassuringly as he led Levi down the ramp. They made it into the water without incident.

"Okay," Erwin clapped his hands together. "I'm going to teach you to float on your back." Levi looked at him in horror.

"On my back?" Levi asked.

"That way you don't have to get water on your face." Erwin explained. "Do you trust me?"

"More than you know." Levi mumbled. Erwin smiled at him.

"Ready?" Levi took a deep breath.

"I suppose." Levi said as Erwin sank to his knees.

"Okay." Erwin held out his hands. "Sit back into me. You're going to spread your arms and legs and tilt your head back while pushing up your hips."

"That's a lot to remember." Levi joked as he leaned back into Erwin's chest.

"Good." Erwin reassured him. Now lean your head on my shoulder." Levi hesitated but did so, pushing down his overwhelming fear. "And push your hips up."

Levi tried but his legs wanted to stay sunken. Levi felt Erwin's thumbs on his lower back, his fingers wrapping around his hips. Levi blushed, momentarily no longer afraid until Erwin pushed his hips to the surface. Levi immediately sat up, his heart racing.

"Hey," Erwin said. "It's okay. I got you." Levi relaxed a bit and leaned back again, allowing Erwin to push his hips up. "Not spread your arms." His voice was distorted by the water in Levi's ears.

"Like this?" Levi asked, spreading his arms.

"Exactly." Erwin said. "Now I'm going to let go of my hands. Push your stomach up to the ceiling." Levi did so as Erwin let go. Levi felt a brief moment of panic before he realized he was doing it, though he was still on Erwin's shoulder.

"I'm doing it!" "Levi exclaimed. He could feel more than hear Erwin's chuckle.

"I'm going to move my shoulder." Erwin said. "Keep your head back."

Levi fought the panic as Erwin slid out from under him. Levi closed his eyes, sure he would sink. But after a moment he opened them again. He was floating!

"Good!" Erwin said. "You can stop whenever you'd like." Levi folded his body and managed to get his feet under him before standing.

"I did it!" Levi said, smiling.

"You did!" Erwin laughed. Levi wanted to hug him, but remembered they were in public and might not be good for Erwin's reputation at the school.

"Think you can do it by yourself?" Erwin asked. Levi took a deep breath.

"I can try." He said. Levi laid back and pushed his stomach up, letting his legs follow. He tilted his head back and spread his arms. He stayed like that for a moment before standing again. Erwin smiled down at him.

"Good job, Levi." He said. "How about we call it a day? I have a lot of grading to get done."

"Sounds good." Levi said. They changed and went their separate ways.

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A/N: the following scene contains themes of childhood sexual abuse and alcoholism. Please, if you do not want to read this or if it will be triggering to you, it will be recapped later in dialogue. Stay safe.

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Erwin made it back to his house quickly, practically jogging across campus. He got home and slammed the door, dropping his bag to the floor. He hated to cut his time with Levi short but it was going to happen again. Luckily he always had plenty of advanced notice. It started as an annoying buzz in the back of his head and built through out the day. He had known this would happen since his first class but he had made it through until now. Erwin collapsed on the ground beside the couch and groaned.

"Please... stop." Erwin begged. The hands were on him again, the smell of alcohol thick in the air. Erwin thrashed but the hands held him down.

"Please! Mama!" Erwin cried out, lost to the world.

Your mama's not here. The memory of the man taunted as he pulled at Erwin's clothes. Now stay still like a good little boy.

Erwin relived it over and over for his entire life. His stepfather, coming home trashed, stumbling through the hallway until he found Erwin's room. The boy was fast asleep, woken only when the man pulled him from his bed and drug him to the floor, his weight bearing down in Erwin until he felt himself being suffocated.

The man's hands were so big. That was one thing Erwin clearly remembered. His hands smothered his cries that night and for what felt like an eternity afterward. The man that dominated his life. Who his mother thought was a good mentor for him after his father's death. Someone to care for him while she was away working night shifts at the hospital...

And then it was over all at once. Erwin took in great mouthfuls of air and tried to calm himself down. Once his heartbeat resembled a normal pace, he stood and walked to his cupboard. There wasn't much in it in ways of food, but there was plenty of alcohol. Erwin stood for a moment before selecting a black rum. He took the bottle and went out back. He lit a cigarette and unscrewed the bottle cap before taking a long drink. He sighed and his phone went off.

Levi: Hey, old man, do you have a Snapchat?

Erwin laughed and drank more.

Erwin: Yeah, Mike made me get one once.

Levi: Sweet. What's your un?

Erwin: It's too embarrassing. I made it while drunk.

Levi: lol come on!

Erwin: bigdickdaddy225

Levi: Erwin wtf???

Erwin laughed. And a notification popped up. It said sc_captain_levi wanted to be his friend. He assumed that was his Levi so he accepted it. Immediately his phone went off. He opened the snap. It was of the beautiful raven haired man beside Hange, who had apparently fallen asleep at their desk on top of their notebooks. There was no caption. Erwin took a few more gulps and set the bottle down before taking a drawl of the cigarette. He took a picture of the pond and sent it. He was beginning to feel the alcohol. Good.

Levi sent back another picture of him frowning. It said "I wanted to see your face dumbass." Erwin laughed and sent a selfie. Levi sent one of him smiling. Then he received a text.

Levi: Thanks. I was missing your face.

Erwin: Any time. I have to go for tonight. See you in class tomorrow?

Levi: Okay! See you then!

Erwin put his phone back in his pocket and looked at the sky. The alcohol was making him forget what just happened on the floor and for that he was grateful. It was never his intention to drink when he got home. But it was becoming too often and he knew that. He should cut back. But... did he really want to? He would rather just drink himself into oblivion every night so he wouldn't have those god-awful flashbacks. Erwin took another swig. That's okay. Maybe he would would tomorrow.