Love?. Two Love Storys In One Book(not A Ship Between Them Both)

Chapter Doce 12

I think that how u spell it^
Also if its written like this its in his mind

⚠TW⚠
Cutting
Suicidal thoughts
Drugs
I warned you

Cohens pov

Its about four in the morning and im just thinking about what Vallyk said. I probably should try and figure out my sexually before i do anything else.

I was sitting on my bed when i heard a knock at the door. "Come in" i said then Jiggy walked in "hey uh why are you still up" i asked "i dont know. I cant sleep" "well i can't help with that" "i know but what do you do at night. I mean you are always up you must have some way of being entertained" "umm i go on my phone, watch tv, draw, i dont know just random stuff like that" "ok thanks"

He left my room and shut the door. What i said to him was a lie. I am on my phone but only for music and i dont watch tv at night. Im usually cutting or just looking in the mirror thinking of how unnecessary i am to this world.

I grabbed my airpods and my phone and put on some music. I layed on my back stairing at the ceiling.

Stupid

Disappointment

Not wanted here

I just layed there as those thoughts when through my mind. A few tears fell but i didnt care. I knew the thoughts would get to me and there was no stopping it.

Take the drugs

Cut

Die

DIE

i got up and went to my bathroom. I hated when the thoughts controlled me, it hurts. Alot.

I grabbed my blade and and put ten cuts. My arms were already coverd in cuts so i had to cut over some.

Once i finished i cleaned up and sat next to my window. I opened it for some fresh air because i couldn't breath at the moment.

After i got some air i decided to go downstairs so i put my airpods up and left my room. When i got downstairs Vallyk was there so I sat on the recliner.
"Cant sleep?"i asked "Nope" he responded. He turned the tv on and it was the news.

"A sixteen year old boy has committed suicide. Thats the third teenager this week" the tv lady said. "Dont think about it Cohen" Vallyk said. "What do you mean" "I know you were thinking about it. So don't" "Why not. Its not like im wanted here anyways" "Cohen you are wanted. The past is the past and it wont become the future so forget it" "why do you care. Your just my sisters boyfriend" "I care because my younger sister committed suicide a few years ago. She meant the world to me. She didnt leave a note and told nobody and the worst part was i had to make the call. And i dont want Nia or Jiggy to go through the same thing i did" i just sat there in silence.

There were alot of things going through my head but its normal. If someone tells me something important it takes me a while to comprehend it. "Sorry" i said.

I got up and went back to my room.

Its your fault. You made him bring up his past. You hurt him. You hurt people

You hurt him

You hurt him

YOU HURT HIM

The words kept circling my head. "Stop"i said "STOP STOP STOP" i sat down with my back against the wall and my knees on my chest.

Such a hurtful person

Why would you do that

Its your fault

If you wernt here this wouldn't have happend

Go to hell

"Please stop" i said crying. I ended up falling asleep onthe floor. It wasnt weird i usually do because this type of stuff happends every night.

~In the morning~

I woke up and got dressed into a usual hoodie and sweat pants. I went downstairs and sat on the couch. "I made you a plate" Nia said. "Not hungry"

Waistful

I just sat there with the thought going in and out of my head. I decided to get some air and go on a walk. "Im going on a walk" "ok dont go to far" i closed the door and started walking.

As i was walking more thoughts went in my head.

Die.

Get hit bye a car

Stab yourself

Nobody wants to see you

I ended up walking to a field that ended at a clif.

Jump

Jump

JUMP

I walked away quickly before my thoughts took over. I walked back home and went inside. "Back" i said. I closed the door and went back to my room. I took my shoes off and layed on my bed.

I grabbed my airpods and put on some music. I was listening to stay high by juice wrld and it reminded me i haven't smoked in a while.

I got up and grabbed my stuff, put in in my bookbag and went downstairs. "Leaving again" Vallyk asked. "Yea" i said "where you going" "does it matter" i opened the door and left.

I walked to my usual place. It was a cliff. It wasnt that high up so i sat on the edge, if i fell i would only fall a few feet so i would be ok.

I went in my bag and pulled out a bag of weed. I rolled it up and grabbed my lighter and lit it.

I heard walking and i turned around and it was a kid who usually came here. I guess you could call us friends. His name is Marco and hes twelve. He is kinda like me in a way. We've known each other for a year or two.

"Hey" he said sitting next to me. "Hey" "can i hit?" he asked "yea here" i passed him the blunt. "Why do you do stuff like this? I mean your twelve over here doing drugs and shit" i asked. "I mean what is there to live for? Its like life told me that i shouldn't be here. Its not like people tell me they hate me to my face but i know they hate me" "deep" "You got any pills" "yea here"

I went in my bag and pulled out a few different kinds. "Which ones" i showed him each one and he chose a new kind this time. "Havent tryed this one"he said. He took a few of the pills then handed me back the bottle.

"I should get home now" i said "yea i should too" we got up and i put my stuff back in my bag. "Ill text you" he said. "Ok see you soon"

Before i walked home i sprayed myself with some cologne so i didnt smell like weed.

I went back home and when i got inside Nia and Vallyk were standing there with my box of other drugs and stuff.

A/n idk i wanted to put something interesting.

Quote: pain is temporary. Nothing is forever