Ryeji - What is love?

Chapter 12 - Deciding

POV | Yeji
"Babe!" I yelled again, but she had a blank face. "Come on... stop teasing..." I huffed. She got up and hesitated, "I-I need to go.." I widened my eyes, "Now you're really teasing.. come on.. don't get me hyped up like that.." Then I realized she was being serious. I got up and grabbed her waist, "Where are you going? Can't we just spend the rest of the day together..?" She looked down, "Yeji.. I-I don't know.. I just need to.. uh.. f-figure things out.. b-before we do this.. bye Yeji.." She grabbed her stuff and walked to the door, stopping. "Bye Yeji.." she repeated. "B-bye Ryu.." I looked down, "I love you.." On that note, she left.. she didn't say I love you back.. she did earlier.. why was this happening? Perhaps her disease was impacting her mind.. this was confusing though.. d-did I do something?

POV | Ryujin
I leaned my head against the door of the bedroom, why did I do that? I don't know.. I heard her cuss and say, "I just was being the slut she asked me to be.. r-right?" I gulped, "Right.." I mumbled under my breath and walked out after putting my shirt back on. I sighed and played with my fingers, running into Lia. "R-ryu?! What're you doing out here?" I stopped walking and looked up, "Lia... I could really use a friend.." Lia looked at me, "Oh shit.. what happened?" She took me into her dorm. I sat at the table, "So.. Yeji saved me.. as you know.. and she kissed me.. but it was a real kiss.. we said we loved each other.. and did it.." Lia gasped, "Did it?! Like have sex?" I nodded, "Sort of.. we did a little bit.. Y-Yuna actually caught us.. anyways I was asking her to be my slut and she did.. but I felt weird.. she called me babe but.. I don't know if I'm ready.." Lia crossed her arms, "You've been ready to fake date with her and kiss her.." I huffed, "This is different.." She then smirked, "I thought.. you already had a girlfriend.." I bit my lip, "That was a lie.. I just wanted to see what she would do.. obviously she likes me.. but I need to be certain that I want to be with her.. like what do I want to do with my pathetic life? How could she impact it? Those type of things have been bothering me.. plus her exes have told me that's she's just a whiny slut that will break my heart.. and I don't know if I believe that or not.. I need to be certain that she wouldn't break my heart like my brother did when he took his life.." I opened up to her. Lia listened to me, she nodded, "Those are good questions that you should ask.. but you can't get an answer until you try things or ask her those things.. but let me tell you.. I know everybody in the school.. and I haven't seen you this happy in a long time.. I remember when your brother passed.. you were a mess and Beomgyu didn't help that... speaking of Beomgyu, are you okay?" I nodded, "Yeah I'm okay.. I see what you mean.. I've felt so much better.. it's like Yeji is curing me.. which is definitely a pro to me dating her for real." Lia held my hand, "I don't want to tell you what to do.. but I think you should go for it.. I mean do you have feelings for her?" I looked at her with a blank face, "I've never been in love before.. I don't know what feelings are.. I don't know what love is.." Lia sighed, "How do you feel when you're around Yeji?" I hummed, "Hmm.. I feel hotness.. shyness.. Uhm.. I feel like I can open up to her. I get nervous around her a lot.. but most of all I feel warm and safe.." Lia smiled, "Okay.. well why don't you spend the night here.. you can stay as long as you want and I'll shall help you decide if you want to be with Yeji.." I nodded, "Thanks Lia.." I hugged her and I opened her eyes to see Yeji standing there, I pulled away. I got up and walked over to her, grabbing her hands, looking into her eyes. "Hey.."

POV | Yeji
I was furious to see them hugging when I walked in, I held in my anger, my cheeks turning red. I bit down on my lip, my hands became sweaty when she grabbed me. "Hello..." I tried not to say that with an attitude but it was hard. Ryujin looked at me, "Can I speak to you.. uhm out in the hallway..?" I huffed and walked out with her, grabbing her waist tightly, "Why the hell were you hugging Lia.. you're mine.." She widened her eyes and grabbed my hands. "I'm not yours.. I'm still deciding.." I pulled away, "What do you mean?! I fucking love you Ryujin! I would spend the rest of my life with you..." She looked down, "I-I'm questioning if I should be with you.." I wrapped my arms around her waist, getting close to her, "Is this about what Yuqi and Huening said about me?" She looked up at me, "Huening?" I said, "Huening Kai is his full name.." She nodded and bit her lip, "Look.. I don't know.." I huffed, "I won't break your heart... a-and I thought you wanted me to be a slut.." Ryujin gave me a hug, "J-just give me some time.. okay?" I hugged her back, kissing her cheek, "Alright but just know that I love you a lot.." She pulled away, "I'll talk to you later.." She went back in, causing me to drop hands with her. I huffed loud and went back to my dorm, going to hug her sweatshirts because I felt lonely. "I miss you.." I mumbled.

POV | Lia
"So.. how did it go?" I waited for her to come back and once she did, I asked her how things went. "Ugh.. I don't know.. I'm sure she's mad at me for coming to you.." I huffed, "I'm trying to help her.. so that's not right.. ugh. Anyways.. Chaeryoung and Yuna are coming over.." She nodded, "Okay.."

| Time Lapse | Two hours later

POV | Ryujin
"Argh.." I groaned and put a pillow over my eyes, all three of them were having sex in her bedroom. I was just left out here like nothing.. it made me miss Yeji even more. I huffed. I texted Yeji, "You still up?" She immediately texted back with an emoji "💞💞" I smiled, "Can you take me out to get pizza?" I texted. She replied, "I'm here." I gasped and put my phone down to hear the door open. I tried to be quiet, running over to her, "They're having sex in there.." Yeji huffed, "Talk about us being like that.. well anyways let's go get you pizza.." I smiled, "Thank you.." She kissed my cheek, "Anything for my love..."

POV | Yeji
I took her out to my car, holding her hand, "You look really pretty.." I tried my best to make her feel like I love her. "Thanks.. uhm do you want any pizza?" I nodded, "If you want me to have some.." She looked out the window, "Okay.. you can share it with me.." I placed my hand on her thigh, "Okay.." She looked at me so I pulled my hand away. I kept hands on the wheel and eyes. I could see in the corner of my eye that she was staring at me.. it made me wonder what she was thinking.

POV | Ryujin
Fuck.. so fucking hot.. I didn't even realize I was staring until she cleared her throat. I gulped and looked away. I felt the heat build up in my body. Was this the feelings that I had for Yeji?

| Time Lapse | An hour later

POV | Yeji
I took her back up to our dorm. "A-are you sure you don't want to stay here?" She shook her head, "Promised Lia.. uh.. I'll be seeing you around.." I grabbed her arm, "Wait.." She looked at me, "I-I love you.." She bit her lip, "I love you too.. just not sure how I want to show that.." She walked off to Lia's dorm. I huffed and went inside, putting the pizza in the fridge. "Damn.. why can't she accept being my actual girlfriend... oh only if I knew.."

POV | Ryujin
I walked into the dorm and froze when they all were staring at me with crossed arms, "W-what?" Fuck.. was I just caught? Lia said, "What're you doing out?" I bit my lip, "I uh just went to-" Chaeryoung interupted me, showing my phone up to me. "Get pizza with Yeji.." I widened my eyes, "How did you get my phone?!" Yuna said, "You left it here.. so.. did you make up things with her?" I huffed, "It's none of you guy's business.." I opened the fridge, putting the box in. "Just tell us Ryu.." Lia said. I closed the door, "Why do you need to know? It's me and Yeji's situation.." Chaeryoung huffed, "We want to know!" I went back to the couch, laying back, "Well you don't need to." I put my head phones and closed my eyes, listening to the music. Yuna rubbed my shoulders. I looked up at her with a confused expression and turned my head. She took off my headphones and I groaned, "What?! What! What do you want?!" Yuna gasped, "Someone's on their period.." I got up, "I'm not on my period! I'm just fucking angry that everybody keeps asking me what my deal is with Yeji! I love her! I fucking love her! Just leave me alone already!" I went off to the bathroom to just get peace. I wasn't on my period.

POV | Yuna
I was shocked. She just admitted that she loved her, "Hm.. not sure if I believe her or not.. I'm just shocked she admitted that she loves her.." I looked at Chaeryoung and Lia. "Yeah.. we should leave her alone.. I think you're right about the period thing..." Lia agreed with me and we went back in her room.

POV | Ryujin
I heard what they said.. oops.. I shouldn't have said that. I just can't control myself when I'm angry.. it's not my period.. it's my stupid disease. I looked in the mirror, "Why can't I accept to be her girlfriend?" Ugh! I hate this fucking disease.. and then I remembered.. and I don't know why.. but I remember when me and Yeji were at JYP.. maybe that could be my future with Yeji.. I walked out of the bathroom and I just was so tired.. so I went to sleep.

| Time Lapse | 3 am

POV | Yeji
I couldn't sleep. I kept reaching over for Ryujin but she wasn't there. My baby was gone.. I started to panic and then I remember what happened.. ugh. I leaned back, hitting my head on the headboard. I groaned and looked over at Ryujin's side. It looked so empty. I sighed, checking the time to see that it was 3:27 am. I huffed and lied back. I looked up, "Fuck.. I miss you.." I saw a light come in the room, I looked over to see Ryujin standing right there, was I just seeing things? I blinked and she was still there. She got in bed with me and hugged me, looking at me, "Go to bed..." I nuzzled my head into her neck. "I missed you.." She stroked my hair, "You were screaming for me.." I was confused, "W-why?" She held me closer, "Don't know.. thought you'd know.. but it's really late.. so go to bed.." I obeyed her and fell asleep.