Ryeji - What is love?

Chapter 64 - Believe

| Time Lapse | 1 month later

POV | Yeji
I cried, throwing everything across the dorm. "NOOOO!" I leaned against the counter, crying harshly. "I just wanna be done..." Tears fell and fell. I took the piece of glass, hovering it over my skin. Words came back to me. "YOU ARE NOT GETTING MARRIED! ALL YOU'VE BEEN IS A SLUT! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT LOVE IS!" "Yeji I love you! Don't leave me!" "We're taking the kids away.." "You're reckless.. you can't stay here.." "Your father is dead. Live with it." "You never even deserved love." "What is love Yeji? What is it? I don't wanna hear some passionate feeling for others. You really don't know what love is." "Your father never loved you. It was just a fact." "Ryujin only is with you for the sex. Give it up." "You're suicidal." "Kwan is afraid of you." "Jihoon hates you." "Who are you? What happened to the person I fell in love with? What happened?!" "Give me that stupid ring! You are not getting married!" "You killed your father!" Here I am. All alone. In my new dorm. They separated me from everyone. I was too "reckless". Now Ryujin doesn't even see me the way she did before. Why? Why was I here? I did it. Cut. I hissed in pain, looking up at ceiling. "I don't wanna do this anymore.. take me.. p-please.." Blood dripped down my hand. "Well hello Yeji." I flinched, looking over at my brother. "Get out! I don't want you here!" Hyunjin revealed Ryujin. I hadn't seen her in a long time. She rushed over, stopping the blood from coming out. She looked me straight into the eyes. I mouthed, "I'm sorry." Ryujin had pain in her eyes. She looked like she was the one who lost her father. I had learned that my father sacrificed everything for me. Literally everything. He wanted a promotion for his job so he could give me money for my new family but it ended up getting himself killed. He did that for me. And now he's gone. He was the one who made me a person. He's all gone. "Y-Yeji.. what happened? What happened to my girl? What happened?" Tears fell down Ryujin's face. I hit my head against the counter, "I don't wanna do this Ryujin.. I can't take anymore.. my father is dead because of me.. my father.." I cried harder. Ryujin hugged me, whispering into my ear, "I just want my girl back.. come back.. please.. that's all I want.. I want you to do this.." I shook my head, "It's my life. I have the choice." Ryujin shook her head, "Yeji don't do this. I'm getting you help. I'll do anything for you. The kids.. they're suffering. They're asking if you're dead every single day. Going by the hospital seeing you in that bed with the scars 4 times already hurt them. They banged on the glass Yeji. They said, "Let me see my mama.." Don't do this.. they love you.." I looked over at Ryujin, "But you don't. That's the thing." Ryujin nodded, "I don't love this Yeji. I love the Yeji who was my fiancée. I love the Yeji who went to prom with me. I love the Yeji who gave me love. I love the Yeji who showed me what love is... where is she? Why did you break down?" I groaned, feeling pain. I reached over for the bandage, wrapping it around my wrist. While I did, I saw all of the scars. "She'll never come back." Ryujin stood up, "Then we can't be together." I licked my lips, "I think that's a good choice.." Ryujin helped me up, "Look what you're doing.. look what you are doing Yeji.." I took a deep breath, "Do you not understand that I am hurting? Where were you? Why did you leave me? You could've helped me.. but you left me alone... that was the only time I didn't want to be alone Ryujin. I killed my father. I killed our relationship. I killed my relationship with the kids. I killed my relationship with Itzy. Why weren't you there for me? I felt pain.. that's why I cut myself.. that's why I ended up being in the hospital. I needed you.. I needed you to see me for yourself to see that I needed help. I never got that help. So I kept doing it. So now here you are.. saying you're getting me help.. where is that help? Where is it?" Ryujin looked down. "Huh?" I said. "You were dangerous Yeji.. you tried to hit me with a bottle.. there's no way I could put myself in that danger." I scoffed, "I put myself around in your danger. Remember when you smacked me, bruised me, almost tried killing me once? I did it. So where were you? You left me!" Ryujin wiped her tears, "I didn't know okay?! I'm sorry! I love you! I love you! I thought you wanted to be alone! Yeji all I want for you is to be happy! And now you're being suicidal and you're scaring me! I'm scared of you Yeji! I don't know what you're gonna do!" I cried, "I need help Ryujin.. I need help..." Ryujin held my hand, "I will give you that help.. but first you gotta give me something.." I moved my hair out of the way, "What? You hardly even care for me anymore.." Ryujin shook her head, "That's not true Yeji.. I care about you.. we all care about you.. Yeji I want you to hit me." I blinked, "Why?" Ryujin said, "I just want you hit me. I haven't been showing the support in our relationship.. I hurt you.. and I kept hurting you and I didn't know.." I looked down, "We still have a relationship?" Ryujin held the ring on my finger, "You never took it off.. we're still engaged. I never stopped loving you.. just hit me Yeji.. please.. I've done to much to you..." I hit her as hard as I could. Ryujin kissed me while crying. I let it happen. We kissed really passionately. Our tears fell on each other's faces. Ryujin pulled away, pressing her forehead against mine. "I will never step away again." I looked down, "I-I won't hurt myself again.."