When the Force Gets Bored (Star Wars Time Travel AU)

Chapter 7

"Step one, get the chancellor arrested and Force restrained: Check." Leia made a mark on her notepad. "Step two, elect a better one who loves democracy - for real this time - and will step down once her term is over."

Anakin raised an eyebrow. "Did you just definitively say, 'her?'"

Leia nodded. "Padmé would be the perfect candidate. Her people wanted her to serve as queen of Naboo for life, but she wouldn't have it, stepping down. She truly believes in the republic. She would never allow power to corrupt her."

"She's an angel."

"Yes, Anakin, that. She's perfect. She's the only option."

Padmé looked startled. "I - I'm honored, Leia, but -"

"I'm sure the senate will agree with me. You're the hero of the republic." Leia then proceeded to keep going with her checklist, as if the matter was entirely settled.

When Anakin heard a slight beeping noise, he knew that Obi-Wan must be calling him. "Hey master. What happened?"

"We're on our way back. I'm bringing Luke. Did you see? Dooku -"

"Surrendered," Anakin completed. "Yes, I know. Padmé told me. Bail Organa told her. Leia was freaked out about the time travel at first, but now she's organizing a list of preventing the Empire and -"

"Hold on," his accent interrupted, incredulity in his extremely tired tone. Then he said, resigned, "Leia's here too?"

Anakin nodded, then seemed to remember that his master couldn't see him. Whoops. "Yep."

"Step three: we should make sure that Darth Vader is never a threat," Leia continued. Anakin, even though his master wasn't very close, could feel Obi-Wan's blood run cold. "Do you know anything about this guy?" She asked Anakin.

Anakin shrugged. "I mean, that's a Sith name, so probably a Sith. Hey Obi-Wan, who's this evil Vader guy? You've only mentioned him, like, once."

"I told you a very powerful Jedi fell to the dark side," Obi-Wan said carefully. "Is that good enough -"

"No who was it ?!"

"I'll tell you when we get back!"

~

"I am so confused," Luke announced. "I thought the guy's name was just Darth Vader and that was that."

"No, it's a Sith name," his father explained and dang if that didn't make him so happy. His father. Was right. There. Alive. Time travel. EEEEK!

"I have no idea what that means Dad."

"When Jedi fall to the dark side," Obi-Wan explained, "sometimes they give in to the allure of darkness and basically go rogue. Sometimes, however, they fall because the Sith wanted them as an apprentice. They then ask the dark side for a new name, which usually just started with 'Darth,' like Darth Maul or Darth Sidious or Darth Tyrannus. In Anakin's case, I suppose the dark side of the Force thought it was being funny because in one of the other languages, it means 'father' and his children were still out there."

"Hold up!" Anakin stopped him. "What... did you say?"

"Um... that the dark side of the Force -"

"Nonono, the other thing." Anakin's general cocky smirk and way of being had disappeared, replaced with the hardened stare that always crossed his face when he was in the middle of a battle. The war general he sometimes had to be.

But this time, it was entirely because Obi-Wan had just... had he just implied that...?

"You said General Grievous killed my father," Luke said accusingly.

Yes, and has the Force not sent them all back in time, he'd been about to tell Luke that Vader had killed his father. So dishonesty was certainly a charge that Obi-Wan was guilty of.

"Would you rather I told you the evil being you'd heard all the stories about - killing on sight and nobody standing a chance against his impossibly dark power - was actually your father? I wanted you to look up to Anakin. He was like a brother to me. I guess it wasn't something I'd come to terms with ever."

Anakin stood up. "Now I really want to kill Palpatine -"

" No ! Anakin, this is what I was talking about! No dark side for you. Ever. We will go out of our way to keep you innocent as a child."

Anakin looked up to the sky, and asked the Force for help. "Obi-Wan I'm not a kriffing child and I'm not kriffing innocent! You come from a future in which I not only lost my way, no I became the next kriffing Sith Lord ! Me. A Sith Lord ! Obi-Wan, come on!"

"Right. And to make sure it never happens again, we are going to make sure you never touch the dark side." Obi-Wan was immovable on this subject.

Anakin groaned and stomped out of the room.

Then Leia said, "Sooo... I guess we can check off step three?"

"You're my sister," Luke told her.

"Yes, Anakin may have mentioned something like that. But anyway -"

"Is it true you were a princess?"

"...Yes -"

"Well I had to grow up on a moisture farm. On Tatooine. Doing moisture farm stuff. Does this seem fair to you? At all?" Luke complained. "Why didn't I get to be the royalty of a core world?"

"Because I'm refined and cultured while you are a whiny teenager."

"Maybe I wouldn't be if I'd been raised with my twin instead of -"

Obi-Wan left the chat. He made his way back to his temple quarters where he was going to get a nice, long nap, and then hopefully wake up recharged and ready to deal with Anakin, the collective amount of Skywalkers, and the general shenanigans that come with a time travel mishap.

He fell asleep to the nagging notion that the Force was laughing at all of them.