When the Force Gets Bored (Star Wars Time Travel AU)

Chapter 6

"I assure you, I'm not a Sith!"

"You would betray me for a shiny new apprentice? What am I saying, of course you would!"

"I swear to the Force, Count, I have no idea what you -"

"Skywalker was always the main prize, wasn't he? I had only existed to be his first cold-blooded muder, am I right?"

"I have absolutely no idea what you -"

"I might as well just tell the whole republic!"

"You're insane! I'm not a Sith!"

"You're literally my master!"

"You must be delusional!

Count Dooku continued to argue with the Chancellor, who continuously denied he was a Sith for the benefit of two people who were already gone.

~

"And that's the story of why if a cyborg charges at you with four hyperactive windmills made of plasma, you need to be very careful so you don't die and miss raising your kids."

"That is a very specific moral of the story," Padmé remarked.

"I'm still annoyed about it even though it hasn't happened yet." Anakin crossed his arms and huffed.

"How do you know he's going to charge at you with -"

"It's basically how Obi-Wan described it. He said it was honestly kind of hilarious." He pouted. "I don't think it's funny."

"Can we focus on important things?" Leia interrupted. "Like, this has been entertaining and all, but if I'm in the past, I might as well do something about all this. I can even keep the empire from being created! So. Let's get down to business. I should probably write this down. Senator -"

"Padmé will be fine."

Leia tried not to let her eyes widen. She'd dreamed of meeting this person, knowing it was impossible because she was dead, and now she could call her by her first name. (Technically she could call her "mother" too, but she wasn't ready to think about that yet.)

"- Padmé, do you have something I could write with? And on?"

"Of course! Let me go get something."

Anakin smiled and shook his head with a small laugh. Of course his daughter was this proactive. She was born to Padmé and raised by Bail.

~

"We interrupt your program for a message from the leader of the Separatists," Obi-Wan announced over the Holonet. "As well as the chancellor of the Republic."

Confusion showed on many people's faces throughout the galaxy who stopped to listen, seeing Dooku and the Chancellor on screen next to Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. But it was the chancellor who was tied up?

"I assure you I am not a Sith!" The chancellor cried.

"This Sith has been playing us all," Dooku announced. "Even me. In fact he was planning to kill me using Anakin Skywalker by manipulating -"

"I have no idea what you are talking about!"

"Can you shut up?" Obi-Wan requested politely with a smirk. "We're trying to listen to the Count."

"- as I was saying, I was a tool in his plan to seduce Anakin Skywalker to the dark side."

"Seduce Anakin Skywalker to the dark side! Whatever are you talking about!"

"So it is with great annoyance at my former master -"

"I am still your - I mean I'm not a Sith!"

"For those of you who don't understand the gravity of being a Sith Lord," Obi-Wan interrupted, "it just means he's extremely evil."

"As I was saying - could both Sith Lord and Jedi Master stop interrupting me? - it is with great annoyance at my former master that I completely concede this dumb war since apparently the only goal was to make a new Sith."

Even Obi-Wan looked surprised. "Wait. What?"

"Well, it appears that even I was just a pawn in Sidious' elaborate game of chess," Count Dooku drawled, glaring at Palpatine.

"I'm not a Sith!"

"If you say that one more time -"

~

"I have great news!" Bail Organa said over transmission to Padmé Amidala. "Unless, of course, you were watching the Holonet?"

"I was not," she said politely. "What happened?"

"Dooku surrendered!"

Padmé gasped. "Oh my. This is certainly unexpected... but wonderful news!"

"Yeah, something about the chancellor being a Sith?"

"Yes, I know. My husband came home and -"

"Hold on?"

"Yeah, my husband came home and said he'd been talking to our son from the future and I'd been talking to our daughter from the future, who is also kind of your daughter."

Bail Organa blinked. "Dear Padmé, are you alright?"

"Yes, quite. Since we're apparently telling everyone all about this, why not? Anakin Skywalker and I have secretly been married for the last four years and I'm pregnant with twins. Said twins just travelled back in time from twenty years in the future, along with Obi-Wan Kenobi who is now in his younger body."

He wasn't exactly sure how to react to that, so he said, "When I wake up, I will tell you all about that very random thing that just happened in a dream."

"Oh, this isn't a dream, I assure you. No, Anakin, I will not tell him about that," she said to someone offscreen.

"Tell me about what?"

" GENERAL GRIEVOUS WAS GONNA KILL ME WITH LIGHTSABER HELICOPTERS !"