Heal

Shiro and Hunk

"You never have to thank me for anything."
She was gone. She was really gone. She was like a sibling. I failed to protect her. I failed. It's my fault she's gone. She was too young. She was too important. She didn't deserve this. It should have been me. Hunk walked in the room. He said "Shiro, dinner's ready." I said "Thank you, Hunk but I'm not hungry." He said "You haven't ate in days, Shiro. You have to take care of yourself." I said "I'm not hungry." He said "Shiro you have to-" I yelled "Just go away!" He walked off, frowning. I didn't mean to be rude or yell. It's just........ her loss has been hard on us all. Keith is overworking himself, Hunk is cooking all day and night to distract himself, Pidge is making new tech all day, and Lance cries a lot. I learned this all from their families. If I was a better leader, this wouldn't have happened. It's my fault. It's all my fault. They wouldn't be in pain if I didn't fail her. I hate myself for that. I failed her, a teenage, a young girl. She had so much more to live for. For the coalition, for Coran, and Hunk, and Pidge, Keith And Lance. I haven't failed just her, I've failed them all. We're broken and it's all my fault. I'm a horrible leader.
Hunk walked in. He said "I brought you food. I know you're not hungry but-" I cut him off by saying "I'm sorry I yelled at you, Hunk. It's just-" He said "I understand. I miss her too." I said "If I hadn't been a horrible leader she would be here. I failed." He said "Shiro, you didn't fail. You knew her, she was stubborn. We all tried to convince her. She didn't back down. She never did." I said "If I tried harder-" Hunk cut me off "No! You tried as hard as you could! We all tried but she didn't care. She still did it. No one could have stopped her. It's not your fault, so stop blaming yourself." He hugged me. I hugged him back.
"It's easier to talk to people when they're full."
I hugged Shiro. He had broken down and was sobbing, saying he could have saved her if he was better. He couldn't have. I tried. He tried. Lance and Pidge tried. We all tried but she still did it. I hugged him, tears falling down my face. We sat, crying together. Even if the others left, I still had him. He was like a father figure to me, to all of us. He took care of us all. He was family. I hugged him tighter. I wish that Allura was still alive. I wish she didn't die. But she did. She still died. We can't change that or focus on the 'What if's'. She won't come back by us putting yourselves down. She'd want us to be happy. She'd want us to move on with our lives. I'm trying to do what she'd want. It's so hard to move on. It's hard to trust after someone you love dies. You are afraid to open your heart again. But if you open your heart, and trust again, you'll find love. You'll find peace, comfort, and love in opening your heart up again, even though it might break. That's what makes you brave. Being able to open up after being broken. You have to try or you'll never love again. I try to open my heart, to everyone, even though I've been broke before. I choose to trust. If they break me, they never deserved me.