Only In My Dreams || Hange Zoë • Reader

Chapter Four - Sir Arlerts Book

(Fall, Wall Maria, 831, Arlert residence.)

"Here you go, young lady. Here's the book." The gentlemen says to my ten year old self, as he steps down from the wooden ladder. I take the big book, as it's weight weighs down my small hands. "Now, I trust you to not say one word about this, alright?"

"Y-yes sir!" I exclaim, excited to read the illegal information. "So, this explains about.. the outside? The land before?"

"It sure does." He kneels down, patting my head. "Now, you'll return this to me tomorrow, got that?"

I was very fond of Mr Arlert, he was a kind and strong man. He used to be a soldier, but now he's got an occupation of being a farm worker. He had a good heart, which was obviously passed down to his family. Sometimes I'd swing by and give greetings to him and his son, and in return I'd get different mementos that he'd gotten through his years. And now, it includes this book. But not any book, one that held information that had never been disclosed to the public. The one about land before titans.

"Of course, Sir Arlert! Thank you, very very much!" I bow, and scram out of the small building that housed him. "Till tomorrow!"

"Till tomorrow, Y/n." He groans, sitting on the bench in-front of his home.

-

I now sat under the tree on a hill, slowly scanning the pages of the book. My eyes widen at the bizarre words I read on the sheet. How magnificent it was to even write such things, it almost felt like reading a fictional story of some kind. I read of oceans, and desserts, and animals that I'd never known even existed. I read of myths, and stories, and tales about how things used to be.

It built up more hope inside me that there were things beyond the walls I never even considered.

Things that made me wonder if there was a way I could live a happy life without being trapped inside a cage.

And the only way to find that out was through being able to go on expeditions, and join the scout regiment.

It scared me, very much. It scared me to leave the walls, or to have my family worrying every hour of everyday for me to be safe. I wouldn't wish that upon them, not like before. I knew that they wouldn't understand the feeling of wanting, needing something more than to live here. Because for them, they loved the walls, they loved to be stuck here and rotted.

I had mixed feelings about the subject; I wanted to follow Hanji, and fight titans beside her. But I also knew my parents wouldn't ever consider letting me leave.

( the next day. )

"Y/n!" Hanji says, giving me a big hug. "Wow, I missed you!"

"Me too, Hanji. It's been a while."

"Oh, children. It's been only two weeks." My father laughs, patting my back. "How about you girls go-"

"To town? Sure!" Hanji smiles, jumping to grab my hand. "Let's go, Y/n."

Suddenly, we ran outside of the doors, and to the small forest near the hill I liked to sit at. I knew that if I told Hanji about actually wanting to join the scouts that she'd be a bit happy.

Once we reach the spot, I collapsed onto the floor as I attempt to catch my breath. The weight of the book and Hanjis speed were both slowing me down the entire way there. "H..Hanji... you're... too fast," I huff and puff as she tumbled onto my body.

"I know! I feel like I'm getting faster everyday." She sits up in a cross cross style, pulling me up beside her. "So, what were you so excited to tell me?"

I take a deep breath, slowly revealing the book to her. "It's this, a book about... outside, and about before the Titans existed."

Hanjis eyes grow wide, and she suddenly snatched the book, skidding through the pages not even taking time to read them.
"Y/n, this is illegal."

'That wasn't what I expected', I thought, as worry built up inside of me.

"What about it? I thought maybe.. you'd be a bit excited." My tone saddens by the emotionless expression on their face. "Look, I don't think it's that big of a deal! I know a nice man who lended it to me, and he said it was all true! This, Hanji. This is what I wanna see. I wanna explore this!"

My finger jolts to the words explaining the oceans. "And.. and this!" Then it hits the sentence mentioning the land full of sand. "Hanji, this is why I wanna join the scouts. I wanna explore outside of the walls, I wanna see if this is true. We can find these places, Hanji. Together!"

And still, there sits Hanji, staring at the pages full of description of something we truly had no idea of it was true. "I'm sorry, I know this is a little dramatic- I shouldn't have sprung this onto y-"

"I knew it," She says so quietly my ears barely catch their words. My heart began to beat a bit faster, as I scoot closer to them, hoping I'd heard them correctly.

"...I KNEW IT!"

Suddenly, Hanji springs up, and pins my hands onto the ground below us. Her energy practically radiated. "Y/n! This is so great! I knew it! Now we have a reason for you to join me! R-right?! You'll follow me now, right?? And we'll be friends until the end?"

"Yes, Hanji." I smile at her excitement and desire to be with me. Her words make me a bit shy, as blush grows on my cheeks. "I'll follow you."

I found another reason to stay with you that day. It felt refreshing to believe in something other than just a world where you fight a bunch of man eating monsters. It felt refreshing to know you wanted me forever. But that was just a dream of ours, wasn't it?

-

Hi everyone, I hope this chapter gives you serotonin, it sure did for me. Have a good day, make sure to eat and drink water and take care of yourselves.

- sugawarasbeautymark