Only In My Dreams || Hange Zoë • Reader

Chapter Eleven - Nostalgia

(Spring, Wall Maria & Rose, 845)

'It can't be. They're gone. Everything's gone, out of my hands. Now, I'll never come back home.'

———

"Straighten up, Y/n. We're to represent ourselves." Levi scolds, giving me a mean side eye. I do so, and take glances at the people around me. Adults, children, elders, as staring as we cross Wall Maria to Wall Rose, from yet another failed expedition.

A woman is heard from the front of our herd, shouting at Keith. "Tell me his death gave us a better chance!" She yells, holding what I assumed was her sons arm. Hange and I look at each other, saddened by the sight.

"It's okay," they mouth, slipping their hand onto mine for comfort. While listening intently to the conversation between the citizen and soldier, I feel the cuts and scrapes that their hand had gone through during this expedition. Everyone was so hurt, and so many lives were lost. Again. What else did it take to simply succeed?

Once they're done talking, Hange quickly shifts their hand to the saddle of their horse, and the rest of us scouts keep moving towards the walls.

"I think we should visit family, shouldn't we?" Hange asks me silently, as we pass Shiganshina District into Wall Maria. "Doctor Yeager said my father isn't getting any better, and that I should probably visit him soon."

"Yeah, you're right. Plus, I'm surviving. So my parents have nothing against me now, right? I'll be approved of." I'm enchanted by the thought of having no burden with them. All I've ever wanted was their love, and I'll finally get it. "Yes, we should visit. But your father, first. I think I'd like to talk to him about how they've been in case. Then my parents, then my sister and grandma."

"Yes, of course. Cant wait to see that little one. And maybe after we can visit Sir Arlert and his family, yes?"

"Yeah."

—

After a few hours of being home again, Hange and I get ready quickly, and make our way towards town. Unfortunately, with Levi. Erwin had sent him with us, to make sure we wouldn't cause any trouble.

Our outfits consisted of our regular scout jackets, and fixed up clothing. Nothing much. Plus, wearing out uniforms will get us around quicker, considering we're veterans.

Throughout our walk back into Wall Maria, where Hange's dad was being held, I immediately felt a rush of nostalgia. The familiar scents and sights, the familiar people. Everything felt like it froze in time.

"What is it?" Levi asks annoyed, having his hands in his pockets.

"It takes me back, that's all."

I looked at the roads I'd cross as a kid, the trees I'd sit at, the ponds Hange and I would explore. So many memories, people, and buildings I forgot existed. All of it hit me at once the way Levi would during combat.

"Damn, we sure have grown up, huh?" Hange says, observing the different folks that gave us strange stares, as well as greetings from store owners.

"Yes, we sure have."

Once arriving at the small hospital, Hange and I quickly enter, being careful not to be too loud.

"Check it out." They mumble quietly, observing the place. It looked nice, comfortable enough for ill people. There was a small table in the corner of the entrance, telling us where each patient was being held.

Hange drags her finger down the paper, scanning for her fathers name. When she finds it, we immediately search for the room number he was assigned.