𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐎 ᵀᵂᴰ¹

14. 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝙎𝙊𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙏𝙊 𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙔

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 || 𝘙𝘌𝘈𝘚𝘖𝘕𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘛𝘖 𝘚𝘛𝘈𝘠
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[ ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʟɪɴᴇ, ᴀʏᴇ
ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰɪɢʜᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴘʀɪᴅᴇ ᴏʀ ɢʟᴏʀʏ?
ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴏʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜱᴄᴀʀꜱ ᴄʟᴏꜱᴇ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ? ]

A WEEK HAD passed and Roland occupied his time with being around Dale on guard duty. Doing small talk as they soaked in the beautiful weather that had been given to them. Rick and Shane had taken Randall off to god knows where while the others stayed back at camp today. Roland had expressed his uncertainty about his father going alone with Shane, but Rick told him otherwise. Not to worry and that he could handle it, even if things got hostile.

Begrudgingly, Roland nodded in understanding and watched them drive off. But quickly pushed the worrying thoughts to the back of his head and to Carl who sat in the centre of camp alone. Roland was currently fishing through his pack inside his and Glenn's tent. Searching for the item he had found during a hunt through the woods with Daryl. It was a comic and Roland knew then that he had to give it to Carl.

Finding the item, Roland pulled it out before stepping out of his tent and walking towards his brother who playing with a knife. Scraping it across the wooden log he sat on. It hadn't come as a surprise to Roland when his mother told him about Carl's behaviour as of recently. Saying that he understood why their dad shot Sophia and how he stopped feeling the emotions soon after. But Roland understood that feeling since after he saw Amy die, he felt this large void in himself.

All this anger pent up inside a little bottle and placed where that void was to give himself some sort of feeling. The closest thing he could describe it to be was an inferno. Full of flames that would never burn out even with all the tears he shed. It was never sadness, just anger. Anger towards the walkers and himself because of his decisions and what the world has turned into. And as time went on, everything around him became numbing in a sense and experiencing true happiness was a very rare thing that he would get to feel. He also knew that in a world like this, you needed to grow up. Quicker than you usually would and that was needed to survive.

But things changed when he got close to Beth. That void full of anger and flame was slowly flickering out and being filled with her. Every time he was with her, he felt content with where he was in his life. And every time he saw her get hurt, he got hurt. It was the same feeling he had with Amy but intensified. If it was a good thing or a bad thing, Roland didn't care because he cared more about her than himself.

Despite his feelings, Roland heard that Beth had woken up recently, but hadn't gone to see her yet. With how things were going around the camp, he didn't have the time to. But he told his mom to say 'hi' for him whenever she saw her. Although he wanted to see the blonde, he also knew that he would react in some type of way that wasn't his usual self. He wasn't sure if he would cry, be angry at himself, or some other emotion that would direct the blame on him. He felt like he put Beth in this situation and he believed he could've changed what happened.