My Swimmer 2 (BxB) {Book 2}

Chapter 25

As soon as I got home, I slammed the door angrily, I just couldn't-

"Riley? Is that you?" Oh shoot, I forgot.

"Yeah, I fell asleep somewhere last night. Sorry."

I heard footsteps coming down the stairs, "No, that's fine, I had to go poop all the sudden, it was bad. So it took long." She appears in the kitchen, "And so then I tried to find you, but you were nowhere to be found, so I figured you might've been taken in by one of your friends, so Nathan dropped me off."

"Nathan? My teammate?"

She nods, and her eyes widened as her eyes laid on me, "What happened? Where'd those hickeys come from?"

Shoot! I forgot about that too!

"Where I slept out, it had so many mosquitoes."

"You should stop lying, you smell like s*x, I know you did it." She squeals, "But wait, who was it with?"

"How can you smell s*x? Tell me, what does it smell like?" I said, trying to avoid her questions as much as I could, but was also creeped out how she-

Never-mind.

"Drop the act, come on, tell your precious sister here."

I just wanted to cry, I don't know why I did, I just felt like it, I uncontrollably started breaking down into tears.

Olivia went into shock, "Huh? Who hurt you?"

I shook my head, "He and I, we did it. Miles and I had s*x. We were so drunk, he said he wanted to be my friend, nothing more. Friends don't have s*x."

"Well, technically, they ca- you know what, never-mind, let's put that aside. My bad. Do you remember any of it?"

I shook my head, "The last thing I remember, was talking with you. That's it, that's all I can remember. But damn, my head hurts like h*ll."

"That's what happens when you challenge alcohol."

"But now, how can I face Miles? I knew he liked me, but I-I thought he's the type who'd keep his word."

"I— didn't you just say you both were really drunk."

"Well, since I don't remember much, he may have not been."

"So how do you know if you really had s*x?"

"Oh I don't know, I woke up naked next to Miles, I have hickeys, and my waist is hurting, is that not enough evidence?"

She was shocked enough, "Well, did you try talking to him about it?"

"I don't want to talk to him, I don't need to talk to him anything, I just want to keep distance from him."

She sighs, "You know you can't avoid him forever, you guys got to talk it out."

"Why should I?! Losing my virginity is a big deal!" Before I knew it, I've spilled one of the main fact.

"Wait, are you angry because Miles made you lose your virginity? You're not mad about the fact he may took advantage of you?"

"Of course I'm mad about that!! And I don't even remember a thing on my first time!"

"Maybe you should take a shower first, clean yourself up, relax for a bit, and I'll make some tea."

I nodded and headed upstairs to the bathroom, I took my shirt off and looked at myself in the mirror once again, I see a million fresh hickeys all over my skin.

I didn't bother taking my pants off when I slowly went into the shower, I let the warm water sprinkling on my skin.

Images were coming out to me, they were from last night. . . I made the move, I wanted it, it turns out that Miles was really drunk last night, so he really didn't mean what he did.

I remembered how I moaned out, the soft touches Miles left, the pain that changed to pleasure, everything.

I pushed back against the wall and slowly slide down to the floor, I pulled my knees up to my face, I quietly weeped.

Everything is painful.

My childhood was lonely, it's like my parents have never existed in my life, I can hardly remember their faces.

My first love is painful, he's already had someone else this whole time.

My first time was somehow painful, because I can't even comprehend how I wanted it. Also physically, I'm feeling the pain.

Life is painful.

Why life only harsh to me? What have I done in my past life to deserve this pain? Why can't I live happily? Why can't I just breath? It's so suffocating!

"Riley? Are you okay in there?" Olivia knocks the door, but I didn't answer, "Riley? Don't scare me! Say something, please!" She sobbed, trying to turn the doorknob.

"Riley, if you don't answer me at this instant, I'll break the door if I have to!" She ran from the door, I heard clattering, footsteps came back.

She was hitting doorknob with some sort of metal or tool, the door was banged opened.

Olivia came in rushing towards me, turning off the water, "Riley! Are you okay? Are you in some sort of shock? W-What's wrong?"

I didn't say a word, only slightly shaking my head.

"Oh god!" She cried, pulling me in, "I thought something bad happened to you. Don't scare me like that! You're the only one who can understand me, I think of you as my own brother, I don't know what I'd do without you." She cried.

"I don't know what I'd do without you too, Olivia." I hugged her back, sobbing on her clothes but she didn't care.

~ ~ ~

"Now are you going to tell me what happened?" Olivia asks, handing me a warm cup of tea.

"Olivia, I remembered what I did. Those memories. . . they came back to me, I now remember every moment of it. And I was the one who wanted it, I started it."

"How do you feel? Disgusted?"

I set the tea down and put my hands over my face, "I-I don't know, my feelings are all over the place. I feel like a mad mess. I just can't believe what I did."

She sighs, "Riley, you've done nothing wrong, you were drunk, and so was Miles. And I know you guys can't ignore that fact that you slept together. Yes, it changes everything, but it's not all that bad, maybe Miles was a victim too. Why don't you hear him out?"

"What can we talk about? It's already done, so it's not like we can go back in time and change what happened."

"Maybe you got nothing to say, but Miles might. And he loves you, I can see it in his eyes, he wants to be closer to you to get to know you better, he wants to make you smile as much as he can, he wants you to be happy."

". . ."

"Riley, just know that I'm here for you and I support every decision you make." Olivia stands up and hugs me again.

Honestly, she's not wrong. I think I should hear him out. But first, I need more time.

~ ~ ~