𝖣𝗈𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝖯𝖾𝗋𝖿𝖾𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 | 𝖪𝖺𝗇𝗀 𝖳𝖺𝖾𝗁𝗒𝗎𝗇

𝖤𝗉𝗂𝗅𝗈𝗀𝗎𝖾 : 𝖨'𝗆 𝖧𝗈𝗆𝖾

[💞]

[Y/N's POV]

"This one goes.. Here."

I tossed a broken eyeshadow palette to a box along with my other cosmetic stuffs. There was a separate box for my short dresses and skirts too. What am I doing? Clearing away my mistakes.

It's too late, I know. It was so stupid of me to do this when Taehyun's no longer around.

That day when I rushed him to Love Craft's address, I woke up not having him by my side anymore. I had no idea where he went or who took him. I chose to stay the night, waited until daylight but I didn't see him again.

I even cried, thinking some punk stole him. But who would put interest on some doll? I still wasn't sure whether someone from the company took him. The doors were locked when I checked. So.. I had no choice.

I guess it wouldn't be that deserving of me to have someone to be with when I'm not capable of loving them the way they love me.

"So stupid of me.." I muttered, chucking my high heels to the box. "So selfish.. So naive.."

"You wouldn't have lost him if you didn't force yourself into the mold, Y/N. You should've listened to him." I told myself. "What made you think his words weren't enough? Were you that desperate for everyone else's approval?"

I laughed dryly, plopping to the couch. "I guess I was."

Yes, I was. I disregarded him so I could fit in. I once thought that if I became 'better', I would be less of a handful. It turned out I made the situation worse. I may have felt pretty for a while, gained friends, experienced the life of an outgoing party girl.

"But at what cost?" I scoffed. "Him. Of course, you had to pay for that."

I heaved myself up to play a cassette tape. That's right, I've restored my vintage stuffs in exchange of throwing away the things that changed me. I wanted to redeem myself. I wanted to be myself again. Not because my so-called friends left me, or that Taehyun was no longer here. I wanted to do so because it is who I am.

As the music rolled, I proceeded with my work. While clearing away, I stumbled across a framed photo of Taehyun and I. The same photo he held the morning I found him lifeless. We looked so happy; smiling widely as I kissed his cheek. He was holding me tight around my shoulders. I smiled.

"Lookin' in your eyes I see a paradise.
This world that I've found is too good to be true."

"Standin' here beside you, want so much to give you. This love in my heart that I'm feeling for you."

"Let 'em say we're crazy. I don't care about that. Put your hand in my hand, baby, don't ever look back."

"Let the world around us just fall apart. Baby, we can make it if we're heart to heart."

I carefully placed the photo on top of the shelf, giving it a loving glance before scooting back to the boxes.