{ON HOLD} Melt|Zauren

M.14

My mother, Zayn and I road together in her car to the hospital and I nearly felt like I was going to have a full blown anxiety attack. I was stressing over what I just told Zayn and feeling very uncomfortable because I didn't get a chance to get a response to what I said, and now we were in a car together. And of course not knowing the severity of the car accident added onto my uneasy feelings. The hospital called Camila's mother and Camila's mother, Sinu called my mom before bolting off.

I didn't know what to expect when we arrived. I ran to the reception counter and asked what room Camila Cabello was in. The woman told me and I ran my way over, my mom and Zayn trying to keep up.

You wouldn't believe the breath of air that escaped my mouth when I got to the room and Camila was laying in the bed with a cast on her arm. "Oh thank God you're okay!" I brushed past her mother and father and gave her a hug. "What on Earth happened?" I asked, brushing a hair out of her face and seeing a few scratches.

"It all happened so fast. I vaguely remember, but I know it wasn't my fault. I was on my way to see Harry and then bam a car collided into me. I just remember seeing the car from a distance and thinking, 'hmm, that's strange they look like they're in my lane' and then a full on collision ensued moments later. My air bag saved me.. it hurt, but it saved me. I landed on my wrist pretty weird when I slammed into the wheel.. The medics said I'm pretty lucky. My car's completely totaled though.. I'm gonna miss Esperanza," she sighed.

"Hey Zayn, Hey Clara," Camila waved with her good hand. That's Camila for you. She could look death directly in the eyes and then laugh. She was completely unphased by things. "You almost gave me a heart attack," I said to her.

"I'm pretty sure I almost gave everyone a heart attack and I am so apologetic for it," she said. "It's not like I meant to."

I was still trying to catch my breath when Harry rushed in within minutes of Ally and Troy. I sat down on the window seat as Camila explained herself once more. Zayn sat down beside me and nudged me. "You okay?" he asked. I nodded my head unable to find words. I wanted to know how he felt about everything I had told him, but then again I didn't. I pushed a hair behind my ear and gave a small smile, watching as everyone gave praise that Camila was okay and talked about how grateful everyone should be because life is so short.

"I'm glad she's okay," Zayn said. I smiled as I watched Camila laughing with Harry and Ally. "I'm glad that she's okay too.. I don't what I'd do if anything would have happened to her. That's my best friend." Zayn nodded and soothingly rubbed my arm. I felt a chill surge through me.

"Do you think I can talk to you out in the hall for a second?" he asked. This was the first time I actually looked him straight in the face since we've been here. "Uh, yeah." I looked at everyone still in awe at how precious life is and I stood up following Zayn's move. "Yeah, sure."

I patted my mom on her back and whispered that I was going to get a drink and she gave me three bucks to get her a drink. Zayn held the door open and I followed him out. We walked past a few doctors and nurses and a nurse pushing a man in a wheelchair with a broken leg. We headed to the vending machines and I leaned up against the wall.

"What's up?" I asked. Zayn crossed his arms over his chest and clenched his jaw together. I swallowed and tried not to bite my lip. "Just so you know, I wasn't just going to leave you with no response. It's just your mum came out all freaked out and we got freaked out and we all left in a rush."

"I know," I said running my fingers through my hair.

"The crush isn't unrequited," he said. I was expecting him to knock my hope down a few notches, but when he said that I looked up from the black chewed up gum that was stuck to the floor and up at his face. "Wait, what?" I asked.

"The crush isn't unrequited.. it's pretty requited actually," he chuckled. "I think anyone that talks to you for five minutes will want nothing but to listen to the way your mind works. You're a beautiful girl, Lauren and really I'm a pretty lucky bastard to have had you come into the grocery store that day and then to have you slip and fall and get us officially talking.." I laughed a little, embarrassed by that day still. "I just.." My smile turned upside down and I tensed up a bit knowing he wasn't going to say anything I would want to hear from this point foreward. "I can't put myself out there to date right now."

"Because of Selena.." I sighed and looked back down at the gum.

"You've gotta-" he began. I held my hand up to stop him from jabbing his words in any further. "No, I totally get it. She messed up your view of what a real woman is."

"She didn't mess up my view of anything, Lauren."

"She did. If you didn't then you wouldn't make some vow to yourself to not date for a while because of her."

"She didn't fuck me up in the head if that's what you're insinuating.." Zayn said.

"I'm not insinuating anything.. I'm just saying she's the reason you aren't acting on your feelings, and I'm not trying to be pushy because I know you just got out of a relationship. God.. I'm honestly not trying to and I'm really, really sorry if that's the way that it's coming out. I just have these feelings and I don't know what to do with them and it's-- it's really frustrating. It really is," I tried my best to explain.

"And I don't know why it's you that I'm desperately into, and it's actually pathetic and I have never been so embarrassed by myself before. I haven't been this enchanted by a guy in who the hell knows how long and then I step into a grocery store and there you are.." I let out a sigh.

"Lauren," Zayn said, and the tone in which he said it was so sorry, like I was some charity case and he was trying to figure out a way to let me down easy. I turned around and shrugged. "You know what, just please, please, please do me a favor and forget that I said anything. I should've just been one of those girls that write things in a diary as opposed to thinking it's okay to say it to your face." I placed my moms money into the vending machine and got her a diet coke.

I walked ahead of Zayn and back to the room. "Here you go," I smiled at my mom. She thanked me and asked, "What took so long?"

"Long line of thirsty visitors," I lied. I turned around and Zayn was sitting back on the window seat, staring out the large glass window. I couldn't even begin to imagine what was going through his head right now.

"Lauren," Camila called out. I turned to her.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"The doctor said I'm gonna have my cast on for a few weeks. How sucky is that? What a way to officially kick off the next few weeks of Summer," she sarcastically said.

"But you survived," her mom said in spanish. "And that's truly what matters."