Too Busy Being Yours

nine

From: Roldan del Rosario

(Sat 10:02 PM)
Psychs, thanks again! Phase 2 done!
We did great. Goodnight at ingat :)

(Sat 11:30 PM)
Don't worry too much okay?

(Sun 9:58 AM)
Good morning, Psychs. May lakad ka ba today?
I want to try this new breakfast place in Kapitolyo, baka trip mo rin.
If hindi ka busy, that is :)

(Sun 10:11 AM)
lol tulog ka pa ata haha.
Sorry to disturb you! Rest well :)

(Sun 8:22 PM)
May gusto ka bang breakfast for tomorrow?
Oorder sana ako ng buttered pancakes from that restaurant I told you
earlier kaso baka hindi na masarap pagdating sa office mo. May waffles din sila if u want

(Mon 1:25 AM)
Kesh, okay ka lang ba?

(Mon 1:26 AM)
Galit ka ba sa 'kin?

(Mon 1:30 AM)
Keisha...

(Mon 1:31 AM)
Let's talk, okay?

(Mon 9:38 AM)
Good morning, Psychs :) on the way na ang brunch mo.
Sorry if na-late. Ingat ka :)

I let out a deep sigh as I stared at Dan's last text message. Kakaabot lang sa 'kin ni Kuya Joncel ng nasabing brunch ko for today, mainit-init pa. Isa ang amoy ng natutunaw na butter sa mga paborito kong amoy sa buong mundo, pero ngayon, may kaakibat na kaba ang dulot nito sa 'kin. The pancakes look so good and golden and delicious, yet I couldn't even bring myself to take a little bite.

Goodness, I'm overacting. I should get over this. What's done is done. Hindi ko na mababawi ang ginawa namin ni Dan kay Mars two days ago.

We just lied to our friend. Straight up lied to her face.

And that's just the beginning. Gagawin pa namin 'to sa maraming tao, sa mga taong mahal at importante sa buhay namin.

Why the fuck did I agree to this again?

Sobrang kinakain na ako ng konsensiya ko kaya iniwasan ko si Dan the whole weekend. Ayoko muna siyang makausap o makita. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko, eh. Paulit-ulit sa utak ko ang mga sinabi niya kay Mars.

Maybe. We'll see when we get there.

Alam ko namang parte lang 'yon ng acting niya para mapaniwala si Mars pero the way he said it unsettled me the most. For a second there a part of me almost believed it was true.

Which was Bad. I shouldn't have thought of that. That's a No No for a setup like ours.

I had to remind myself that this wasn't real. This will never be real. I'm just doing this for him as a friend and nothing more.

Fuck, napa-praning na talaga ako.

My phone beeped, and of course, it was him again.

From: Roldan del Rosario

(Mon 10:17 AM)
Natikman mo na? :)
Kainin mo yan habang mainit pa ah. Di na masarap yan pag malamig. Trust me.
Let me know what you think!!!

Trust me mukha mo.

But this was a good sign, though. He's communicating in his own passive-aggressive way. Ganito na talaga siya dati pa, dinadaan ako sa pagkain bago pag-usapan ang mga importanteng bagay. At least may effort na makipag-usap. Nakonsensiya tuloy ako sa pag-iwas ko sa kanya. Replyan ko na nga.

To: Roldan del Rosario

Thanks for the food, Dan. Sorry kung weird ako nitong nakaraan. Nakokonsensya na kasi ako. Ayoko na.