Dreaming of meeting her idol while working a fulltime job where she's constantly underestimated, she ends up being given a chance to show what she's capable of.
A once in a lifetime chance to finally show her boss that he's been wrong about her all...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
~💜~
He likes Michelle..
Jungkook likes Michelle..
What am I supposed to do with that information? Is this supposed to make me figure out my own emotions faster? Is this supposed to motivate me to figure out how she feels about me? I truly wish that I could know what's going on the maknae's head. He confuses me sometimes and I have a hard time figuring him out at those times.
"Okay."
It's all I say. Because.. honestly, what am I supposed to say? Am I supposed to forbid him from having such feelings? Am I supposed to tell him that he can't like her because I might like her and he could ruin my chances with her?
Besides all that.. I keep telling myself that it's better to just stay friends with her, if I can even say that we're friends. Simply because our schedule and our workload is too busy and too big to actually date someone. None of us have had a girlfriend ever since we became trainee's under Big Hit. Simply because we don't have the time.
"Okay? That's all you have to say hyung?" I look back at him and see frustration covering his eyes, his eyebrows furrowed and a frown on his lips. "Kook, what am I supposed to say? We're too busy to date, I don't know if I even have feelings for her. It's better to become friends and stay that way. So if you want to date her, go for it." He takes in what I'm telling him but starts shaking his head. "No, I know you like her. I know you want her-"
"So what? You think you know what I feel before I figured out what I feel? Listen, if you like her go for it. Take your chance and try to make her fall for you. If that's really what you want. But she deserves someone who can be there for her.. and with our workload it's practically impossible to actually be there for her. We have a hard enough time seeing our family, let alone date... she'll be here for 14 weeks total, it's been two weeks already. After her project is finished, she'll leave Big Hit and go back to her job and get another project. It's just temporary. So if you really think you like her, go for it. But try to be there for her while you're also giving us 100%. I don't want to hurt her, so no matter what I feel. I'm gonna try and become her friend and after that I'll stay her friend."
He somehow looks defeated, as if he wasn't expecting me to tell him what I told him and feels like he lost. But it's not about winning or losing. It's about knowing what someone deserves and knowing if you can offer that what he or she deserves. I can't offer what Michelle deserves, so no matter how I feel.. I won't hurt her by trying to start something that I can't fully commit to. That's cruel and mean and I can't do that to her, or anyone.
I haven't been able to give BTS my full 100% and the guilt has been eating me alive. I'm not blaming it on Michelle for randomly appearing in my dreams, I'm blaming myself for letting it get to me. I was too focused on wanting to figure out who she was and what the dreams meant, that I couldn't fully commit to my duties and a member of BTS and I hate myself for letting it get this far. I just wish I could go back in time and make it right, but that's not possible. So the only thing I can do to actually make it right is to refocus on my work and try to become the Jimin I was four months ago.
