the formula of love

I've been in love

we skipped across stones in the stream behind town
our laugher bounced off the trees
smiles so big we couldn't see out of our brown and hazel eyes

drives through my small town
hitting the roof of your car for luck when the light turns yellow
i squeeze your hand as you smile and floor it

our friends laughed dissipated
our hearts sank but you held my heart close
i began to fall

your belt unbuckled, the sound of metal hitting gives me flash backs
to when you kissed my softly
slowly grabbed my waist
pushed me against a wall
gripped my thigh
rough but soft

fuck your smile
i fell for it
your laugh is haunting
you voice mocks my pain

but you held my hand
said i wouldn't lose you
said i was crazy for the fear of loss

my motivation
my happiness
myself
you took it

i kept my silence
i gave you space
i thought i'd be missed

so i call
you say "you have three minutes"
why set my feelings on a timer when you once promised me forever

imagine giving someone your all
to a point they hold your heart in their hands
they take yourself from you

they hold your hand
say they just need time
take the letter you spilled your heart into
act like your bestfriend

then cuts you off
doesn't give a shit
grabs your friends mid conversation
makes you feel used
like they only wanted one thing
they stole your life from you
yet, you still love them

for them, pathetic
embarrassing yourself
breaking your own back
saying they did nothing wrong
lying to yourself about the truth
knowing they could probably sleep with 100 people
say they hate everything about you
and you'd still beg them to come back

not being able to hate someone for how horrible they have been
embarrassing yourself carelessly
taking every possible path to run into them

i've been in love, true love
i don't think they ever loved me
but we have multiple soulmates
just need to be their soulmate as well
thats the only tricky part, the part you cant control