The House of a Mind | Yoonkook [Discontinued]

2

The TV.

Jungkook had been taped to it for weeks.

Reality wasn't life to him anymore. It was regret and pain that he kept swallowing more and more of until it exploded again. He knew it was the TV that made him this way, but he was too addicted to it to stop. The memories of his childhood that would always play on the screen were the only things that made him feel better. Yet at the same time, it made him feel numb as he realized that his life would never go back to that again.

While he watched a scene of him playing with his friends back when he was younger, that same feeling of sadness and grief made Jungkook drop to a low he never felt before he locked himself in the house.

He tried to hate what he was seeing since that was the right thing to do, but it was difficult. All he could feel was regret. Regret for even thinking that those people would be by his side forever.

The only considerably good thing that happened was that the man talked to him a lot less. He didn't even see him that often. All the interactions they had was when Jungkook tried to eat. He ended up giving up on eating food a lot more than he did before, even forgetting about it sometimes.

But who cared if he didn't eat? No one would know if he died. Too many trees surrounded him.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

That question brought Jungkook's attention back to the TV screen.

There was a smile on the teacher's face as she looked down at all the children sitting around her. That smile had so much care in it that Jungkook couldn't make up any harmful intentions behind it. She held a picture book like she was hugging it as she sat in a rocking chair.

"I want to be an astronaut!"

"A teacher!"

"Firefighter!"

"Dancer!"

"Superhero."

That timid answer he heard himself say felt like a bullet to the heart. Worse was he remembered why he chose that in the first place.

He pushed his childhood away for years. The past, to him, was anger trying to form an excuse. To him, the past was made to be forgotten with no looking back.

All he wanted was to be strong and save people's lives, but if he couldn't save himself then how could he be able to save anyone else?

"Do you and dad still love each other?"

Jungkook looked back at the screen.

His mother smiled and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Of course we do."

"Then why do you both keep fighting?"

Her smile tried to stay on her face. "Sometimes love does that. Don't worry about us. We'll figure it out on our own."

"I miss walking with both of you instead of only you."

His mom had pulled him into a warm hug, brushing his hair with her fingers. Jungkook remembered that feeling. He would beat himself up if he ever forgot. "Me too, sweetie. Your dad just has some things he's dealing with right now."

Jungkook pushed himself out of her embrace. "Once he's done, will we walk together again?"

She held his cheek. Her eyes shined with the same hope as his own. "Of course, Jungkook."