The things we lost in the rain

Michael White

Chapter 11: Michael White

5 MONTHS AGO

"What if this baby comes out looking like my great grandmother?"
Michael said and I chuckled, we have been trying to figure out what Harlow will look like. We now know she is definitely Harlow not Harry.
Me" What was wrong with her?"
Michael" I don't know, but our baby will be compared to someone we both don't know and we will have to be with okay with that"
Me" Hahaha you sound like a mad man"
Michael" Then I am"
" I need a drink"
Me" Are you upset because it's a girl?"
Michael" No, it's a baby with you. I love my daughter"
"I just hate that Elena still hasn't given me a chance, I feel like I will always be guilty for being there for Harlow's big moments but never hers"
Me" You could always invite her over again, I will give you both some space"
Michael" She doesn't want that"
"I don't know Billy, but I am running out of ideas"
Me" I am sorry babe"
" I know how much you wanted a relationship with her"
Michael" I will continue trying just giving her some space"
" I thought you had plans"
Me" I do, but you need me. So I am staying here"
Michael" Go, your sister probably misses you"
Me" I highly doubt it"
Michael" You will never know until you go see her"
Me" Your love for family is wearing me down"
"Fine I'll go, but you need to call your daughter while I'm gone"
Michael" Deal"
Me" Good"
I went to jump into the shower and when I came out Michael was on the phone. I smiled at him because he actually listened to me, I decided to wear a skirt and a white t-shirt with old school skool Vans. I did my make up, then fixed my hair and I was out the door before I changed my mind.

*

When I got there she was already waiting on me, I don't know how Namhla and I got here. I knew there was no turning back though, she said so much and I don't think I will ever forgive her.
"Hey"
She said, then hugged me. I was caught off guard to a point I pushed her away.
"I'm only hugging you Lisa"
She rolled her eyes, I was annoyed by that.
" Okay"
I said then sat down, the waitress came over to introduce herself. Since Mikey and I frequent here, I knew what I wanted to eat and only ordered our supper. She also ordered then the waitress went away.
" How's everything? I have been seeing your life through your instagram feed like we are not family"
She said, and I giggled because clearly she came prepared. Our drinks came, we both stayed silent for a while.
Me" Why did you want to see me?"
"I don't understand because you said so much the last time we saw each other"
Namhla" And so did you"
" Or did you forget?"
Me" You know I don't think you understand why your only see my life on instagram. It didn't happen by mistake, we didn't just wake up and stop being close you and I, why are you acting like akhonto uyenzile to drive us to that point"
Namhla" Balisa you met Michael and you instantly thought you are better than us"
I chuckled because she is still saying this shit.
Me" Namhla, your parents and I never had a relationship. Ever. You were always their favorite and I was always okay with that. Your parents and yourself included hated that I met someone who actually loved me. Which is strange because you were the one pushing me to Michael, and when I finally gave him the chance you went hard on pointing out his flaws! You did that. You called Michael a pedophile wena and we are here right now, we don't have a relationship because you lied about my husband for absolutely no reason. And you know the most fucked up part, he still pushes me to get along with all of you guys"
" You were there when they wanted Michael to pay almost a million for my lobola which was shocking because Tata was supposed to send me off with a chicken the way he hated me. I found someone who made me happy and you all tried to ruin it for me!"
The food came, I turned to the side to wipe my tears. I hate that we were doing this in public.
Namhla" Balisa the pedo thing was a joke and you knew it"
Me" Knew it how?? How do you joke about something so sensitive? You were being messy and you know it Namhla"
" I don't get why you all went out of your way to ruin my marriage!"
Namhla" I am sorry"
Me" For what?"
Namhla" Everything"
Me" Yhoo! I don't know how if you are not getting the severity of the things you said or I am dramatic for expecting better from you"
"You are my sister, fuck our parents, I am speaking about you and I ngoku. What is it about me being happy that rubs you off the wrong way? You hurt me Namhla and I don't think you understand. I can't forgive you for the things you said and you are so passive aggressive. My God! Who are you?"
Namhla" You keep on saying things like "your parents" and it is quite laughable because they are yours too. And you have neglected them since you got married"
Me" You know I always wondered why you never spoke up for me, I always felt like you accepted the treatment I received because it wasn't given to you. You went to the best schools, and well I went to a school. You had new clothes and I received your hand me downs, none of those things ever bothered you. I praised you! Wanted to be you so they can maybe love me half as much. I worked for everything I have, with no one holding my hand and guiding me. I did it though, without fail I still supported those two. You make it seem like Michael rescued me from poverty yet I met him after I graduated and had a great job. You need to stop! Stop trying to make me feel like I didn't earn the things I have because I did. You had a huge advantage over me, I had hurdles to run through. What you did with your opportunities is none of my business. Stop trying to make me feel like I did something wrong for being where I am today"
Namhla" Your memory is so weird, to you I am the bad guy. Yet you forget the things I did for you while you were in varsity and I was working"
Me" Really? What do you want? For me to pay you back?"
"Name the amount and I'll give it to you. Then you can all stay the fuck away from my family"
Namhla" Yeka Balisa because this is not going anywhere"
Me" Please stop calling me"
"And stop writing shit about my husband and I on your Facebook. Get your own life and stop being a fan of mine"
Namhla" You know you will wake up one morning and you'll have no one. Then you will call me, and I will pick up just to say "voestek".
Me" I'd rather kill myself"
Namhla" One day"

PRESENT DAY!!!! Now!!! TODAY!!!

" Hey Billy"
I looked at him then reached for his face.
Me" I don't know what comes next"
Michael" You get out of bed and you hold her"
Me" I can't do this"
Michael" You can"
" She needs you"
Me" Please don't make me hold her"
"I....c..an't..."
Michael" You are one of the strongest people I know. This is nothing, you are just depressed. You can hold your baby and feed her, you've done it before"
I touched his face again
" It's me Billy"
Me" Tell me why do you call me that?"
He smiled
Michael" I'll tell you one day"
I closed my eyes then opened them slowly, he was still looking at me. His dark blue eyes were my favorite thing about him. He looked like he could have been a movie star, he had the most beautiful smile and a great personality. Everyone thinks he is lucky to have me, yet I always wondered why me. He surely could do better than me and the weird thing is, he had some theory that I settled for him. And the funny thing is that was my theory.
Me" She is quiet again"
Michael" Billy"
I looked at him and smiled.
"Harlow needs her mother, you need to get up and be the mother your daughter deserves"
Me" You died"
Michael" Look at me"
Me" You are not real"
" I have to burry you and I can't because then it will all be real"
Michael" Billy look at me!"
Me" You are not real! None of this is real!"
"I need you to stop!! Stop !!! I can't anymore!!!"
He touched my face then kissed my lips.
Michael" I call you Billy because you saved your name as Bilisa on my phone. I didn't know it was a mistake until our second date"
" I am here"