Anonymous

55

It was always silent up at the cemetery. Some people probably found it unnerving and associated it with ghosts and death, but to Marceline, it was oddly comforting. Like the souls of those lost were finally getting rest.

She started with the old flowers, getting rid of them and refilling the water pots on the grave. She'd bought plenty of fresh ones, even more so than usual. It felt more important today. She was the only one to come up; Marshall wasn't one for sentiment and despite Hunson's constant claims that he loved her the most, he'd never visited her grave. Not once in nine years. Marceline always tried to get up there at least once a month. It was something that Simon had told her to do when she was younger and really hurting.

"I know it's hard, Marcy. An old man like me, I lost my mom a long time ago, so I know how bad it hurts right now." Simon said, holding her tight. It didn't feel the same as when her mom did it. "But there's another way you can feel close to her. We'll go to the store, and you can buy any flowers you want, and we'll take them up and put them on the grave. And then you can talk to her. She won't be able to talk back, but she'll be listening to you, and she'll know you're there. That would make her really happy, knowing that you're there."

They took the flowers up to the grave and organised them, getting rid of the dead and dying ones from the funeral. Marceline sat down on the freshly lain grass and stared at the gravestone, mumbling, "Mommy. I miss you."

It was all she'd managed to get out before bursting into tears, and Simon had picked her up and soothed her, rocking her backwards and forwards until she cried herself to sleep right there in the cemetery.

Marceline shook the memory from her head and worked on organising the new flowers, making them look beautiful, like she deserved. She took her time, letting that be her sole focus, not the deep ache in her chest. She always missed her mother, always wished she'd had her growing up, but it felt worse on the anniversary. It always did.

She thought of what could've been. Having girls' days, having someone there to talk to about school and friends and crushes. Even something like having her mom explain to her about periods and growing up, rather than her dad passing her a DVD and telling her to 'watch it in her own time'. So many things would be different.

She ran a hand over the carving on the gravestone, over her mother's name. Finally sitting down on the grass, she sighed, running a hand through her hair and murmuring, "Hey, mom."

"I'm sorry it's been a while since I came up here. I guess life has just gotten in the way a little bit. School started back again, and that's as boring as ever, but I've only got this year and then I can run away and be awesome." Marceline plucked a few blades of grass from the ground and tossed them aside. "Do you remember that girl I mentioned? Bonnie? She's my girlfriend now. I really wish I could've introduced her to you, because I know you would've loved her. She's like, basically perfect. She's practically a genius when it comes to math and science, and she could probably discover the meaning of life or something, but she can be kind of a dumbass when it comes to me. It makes me laugh."

"She really cares about me. It's kind of jarring, because I'm not used to people caring that much. But I think she'd do anything she could to protect me." Marceline said, and after a few moments of thought, added. "Actually, she did. I'm back living with Simon right now, and it's... it's weird, but it's good. It's just strange not having to worry all the time or feel like I'm going to get jumped in my own home. And at school, dad's acting like he doesn't know me. He basically ignores me in all of his classes, I think because he's in this weird stalemate with Bonnie and doesn't know how to approach things. He's not used to not having the upper hand, I guess."

"I feel kind of awkward, and a little scared, caught up in the middle of all that, but I only have to endure it until graduation." Quietly, she allowed herself to smile. "And about that... a record label liked our demo and I've been emailing them about maybe signing with them. I haven't told anybody yet, not even the rest of the band, or Bonnie, just in case it falls through, but... I don't know. It's crazy, but I think we might actually have a shot when we leave. I wish you could be here to go to my shows, but I know you're watching them from where you are. Hopefully you don't think my music sucks."