Winter Moon (Jelsa)

Chapter 36: Elsa

It hurt to breathe. My chest ached and burned, and my arms were in pure agony. I took shallow gulps of air, keeping my eyes shut.

"I am almost there," Pitch declared, his voice echoed and spun. "Just a little more."

I felt the needle slide in once again, somewhere on my neck. Instead of a knife, Kynes was inserting some sort of clear liquid into my veins. For a few brief moments, I would feel numb all over, then an insurmountable amount of pain would flood into every inch of my body.

Briefly, I heard Kynes saying something about triggering the sensory receptors in my body. 

"Stop," I begged hoarsely.

"You have a strong mind child. It does not bend easily," Pitch murmured. "In the end, though, you will fall to pain."

I let out a bone-chilling scream as the pain serum swept through my body, sending fire licking through me. I felt hollow, broken, and I could feel the darkness pressing in around me.

I would not give to it. I wouldn't.

"Why?" I gasped at last, as Kynes prepared another syringe.

"I suppose there's no harm in telling you," Pitch mused. "I need your mind broken and your body pliant. My possessions, though powerful, are brief. I need a body that I can inhabit permanently."

"But why me?" I asked as the darkness pressed in further. Pitch was trying to get in. Push past whatever separated my mind from his metaphysical form. I tried to imagine a wall of ice encompassing me, blocking out the dark.

Kynes had bound me with odd-looking chains to a table. Somehow, the chains were preventing me from using my power.

"Because, you are the only one who I can possess. Like calls to like. Blood calls to blood," Pitch sang, even as I felt claws dig into my mind.

Kynes pushed the needle into my neck again, and I felt the mental barrier between Pitch and me thin. 

I will not yield, I thought determinedly, though I knew I didn't have the strength to keep this up. I couldn't fight a god.

"What do you mean?" I asked Pitch, wondering if he was just spewing nonsense.

"You and I are alike. My blood is yours, and your blood is mine."

"What?"

"Must I spell every word out for you? Ah well. You will know soon enough."

I shrieked as Kynes inserted another dosage of the pain serum into my veins. I could feel the ice between the dark and me crack.

I will not yield. I will not yield. I will not yield.

The mental barrier between us dwindled. I could feel the darkness leaking in.

I will not yield. 

I will not yield.

I will not yield.

I

will

not

yield.

"Stop fighting," Pitch, the darkness, whispered.

"Never," I gasped, even as the wall between us cracked further.

I felt the pain rush through my body once again, and I couldn't take it anymore.

I let go.

The barrier shattered, and the darkness rushed in.

~ ~ ~

I found myself in my bed. Not the one in the room I shared with Rapunzel, but my old bed in the Arendelle castle. My room looked as I had left it. Books tossed haphazardly on the shelf, desk littered with paper.

Blinking, I scrambled to my feet, smoothing my hair, which had come free of the bun it had been in earlier. A loose braid hung over my shoulder. I was wearing my school uniform, except with traditional Arendellian pattering decorating the hem and collar, like a blend of my old clothes and current ones. 

"Hello, Elsa," said a voice, and I heard the door to my room click open.

"Pitch," I whispered softly, raising my hands in defense.

My power came surging to me, and frost began to creep across the floor, stemming from my feet.

"You do not have the strength to hurt me. I am in control. Though, this is a nice mind world."

"A mind world?"

"Yes. There are currently two souls in your body. Yours and mine. Mine, since I am a god, is dominant and has control. But your brain is trying to contain two minds and two souls. Your brain just created a safe space for your soul. A mind world. These, even I do not fully understand, only that they are a product of your life."

"So this is all in my head?"

"Look," Pitch indicated the window.

I turned to spot the face of Kynes in a dim room, and I realized that I was seeing these images through my eyes. 

Kynes's voice boomed into the mind world, like it was being projected through some sort of amplifier.

"All hail the true king of gods," Kynes bowed in front of Pitch/me.

"How are you talking to me and addressing him?" I asked, looking back and forth between the image of Kynes and the mental incarnation of Pitch in front of me.

"I have split my consciousness. A handy trick that gods can do. You are only talking to a fragment of me."

"Oh."

"Why don't you enjoy watching yourself slaughter everyone in this sorry city?" Pitch grinned at me, then vanished. 

I didn't bother looking through the window. I already had a fairly good idea of what was about to happen. 

I didn't matter. If my body was the only one that Pitch could permanently inhabit, then I would have no choice but to get rid of it. I had to wrest back control long enough to kill myself.

The thoughts settled into a pit in my stomach, but I seized the door knob of my room's door and flung it open.

It was a confusing sight. I was in the library at New Dawn now. How had that happened?

Wait. This was my mind, made up of all of my life experiences. I spent a lot of time in the library these past few months, so it made sense. Would this also mean that as I aged, the mind world would change, depending on the most significant places in my life?

Now was not the time for questions.

I could hear Pitch addressing the Dark Moon cult. He was giving a speech through me.

I hurried on through various rooms. I discovered a place full of snow sculptures where snow statues of people and places represented my memories. There was an art gallery full of portraits of people I knew. Anna. Jack. Rapunzel. All of them. 

Then, I reached a conspicuous door. It was solid black. 

Knowing that this probably wasn't the smartest choice, I opened the door. 

In front of me was a void. Total black. This must be Pitch's half of my head. I heard a distant scream and quickly shut the door.

I sucked in a breath. This was probably it. If I wanted to take back control, at least long enough to kill myself, I would have to venture into Pitch's mind world. 

With a hard swallow, and a glance back at the welcoming corridors of the castle, I rallied my power and plunged into the void.