Handcuffs And Kisses (Series #1)

Chapter 11

Lilian Carson POV

I jumped out of the car as soon as we reached Agnor's residence and hurried for the door. I frantically knock on the door, hoping someone will answer and save me from the demons of my past. I could feel the beating of my heart in my throat, and I couldn't get rid of the feeling that someone or something was following me. I rushed inside as soon as the door opened and saw a familiar face, Hannah. She appeared concerned when she noticed that I was starting to pant and gasp for air.

"Miss, are you okay?"

"I'm good, just a little worn out. I'm going to go rest in my room."

"If you need anything, let me know; I'll bring you some water or a snack. Get some rest and take your time." With a warm smile, Hannah said. I smile back grudgingly and proceed to my room.

The atmosphere in the room was oppressive and gloomy. I was afraid that the nightmare would follow me into my room, slink around the corner, and keep watch over me while feeding off my hopelessness. I turned on the lights in the hopes that the brightness would chase away the feeling and help me get rid of it. The light was on, but I couldn't get rid of the feeling that I was being watched.

I tried to fall asleep after collapsing on the bed. I've read that getting some sleep can help you relax. However, it was hard to fall asleep because my mind was whirling with worries. To help me fall asleep, I made the decision to try some relaxation methods like deep breathing and visualization. My eyelid grew heavy, and I soon fell asleep.

I would only sleep for a short while before feeling as though I was breathing for the first time and that my body was lacking in oxygen when I awoke. I had disregarded the possibility of taking medications and assumed that you could not die of insomnia. The truth is, you can actually pass away, and sometimes I wish I was.

I must have woken up four times in the three hours that I've been in bed. Not for very long, but long enough to disrupt my restful sleep. There is a new nightmare for every disturbance. Although I wanted to drink coffee, caffeine makes me feel more anxious.

Even with the air conditioner on, my stomach began to churn, and I started to sweat profusely. I need to speak with someone. I wanted to hurt myself. I have to stop thinking about Jax's face. As tears started to form in my eyes, I scrambled to find Sam's phone number. I'd feel better if Sam and I could talk. I want to be in his arms right now. I want to tell him how much he means to me and how much I miss him.

I was going to dial Sam's number when I recalled his breakup proposal to me. I realised we were no longer together when reality set in. For a brief moment, I debated whether or not to call him. But after deciding against it, I put my phone back because I had to let him go.

The psychologist was correct! Sam was indeed used by me for personal gain, and the only time I needed him was when I felt exposed. He is not deserving of me. The beloved number, which I had once held so dear to me, was deleted. I chuckled to myself as I considered my predicament. My only real option in life is Alexander, and he is the one who now truly deserves me. Like Sam, I should use him until he grows tired of me and walks away.

I abruptly heard shouting and laughter coming from downstairs, followed by a loud noise. I was unsure whether I should look into the disturbance or keep thinking, so I paused for a moment. But my insatiable curiosity won out, and I made the decision to investigate what was happening. I descended the stairs with caution.

I could see a white light coming from under the door as I descended the stairs. I cautiously opened it to see a crowd gathered around a puzzling object on the floor as my heart was pounding. It appears that the object is a golden feng shui cat. Alexander appears to be joining the group in their laughter. In Chinese culture, feng shui cats are thought to bring luck and fortune. Alexander appears to be negotiating a business deal with the group based on his behaviour. He has never appeared this much happier to me.