Handcuffs And Kisses (Series #1)

Chapter 30

Lilian Carson POV

Have you ever thought yourself to be special? To be lucky? I used to when I was a kid but then I met the cold truth and now I know where I belong. I can never be like others and I regret that more than anyone. When I look around my surroundings, I see people laughing and enjoying but somehow I don't fit in. I'll always be the outcast, so I dream about things that might never be true. The more you hope the more you break your heart but what else can I do? What else can I do except looking at the blue and red light approaching me? I am too scared to even move. I was choking on the air, struggling to breath.

Couple hours earlier

"The dinner is tasty daddy" said granny with a big smile on her face. Alexander as usual eating without making a noise. The dinner is really delicious, the butler has magic in his hand. It was very simple but I love the flavours. There was noodles, dry chicken and salads.

"I would like to draw some more after eating, do not disturb" said granny while clapping. She was done eating, Byron help her to get clean and then roll her wheelchair into her room. I was going to talk to Alexander but he left after he was done with his food. Maybe I would ask him later. For some reason Alexander looked stressed and angry, his whole attitude changed from earlier.

The place was so beautiful that I wanted to roam around the pretty garden. After I was done eating I walk out of the door and into the garden. It was more beautiful in the dark, the moon light was falling on the lake making it look like something from a fairy movie. There were also fireflies which looked like those fairly lights that we sometimes hung for decorations.

"You are leaving so early, why?" I heard Byron, I couldn't help but to hear them.

"Don't have time to explain, take care of granny" he said. We are leaving? I thought we would stay here for sometimes. The door open behind me and saw a tensed Alexander, I can't tell but he looked in pain. It's like he was guilty. My heart started beating, something is wrong.

"You need to be somewhere, let's go" said Alexander, he couldn't talk and look into my eyes. I didn't felt threaten rather fear engulfed me, I knew he did something wrong and he doesn't have any explanation. Alexander quickly walk towards me, grab my hand and dragged me towards his car. I get in without even questioning cause somewhere I knew what he did, I knew what I was facing. I was just not sure. He get into the driving seat and start the car. My hands were cold and sweaty.

"What's wrong? Are you going to tell me once?" I asked with a shaky voice.

"This was never meant to go like this, I make sure of everything. I can never be wrong" he said. Suddenly I became impatient, anger boil in.

"WHAT IS IT ALEXANDER FOR CHRIST SAKE? tell me it's not about my dad" I said loudly, I couldn't hold my tears anymore, it started falling. It's instinct, some things doesn't need to be said. And my instincts were directing towards my dad. He kept silent.

"Tell me, god dammit!" I said with broken words. I felt like I was going to get panic attack.

"He was shot twice...the doctors did their best but he is not going to survive and the last thing he wishes was to see you" he said in a low guilty filled voice. For that moment I felt like I lose my mind, it was blank, I wanted to grab a gun and just shoot myself.

"STOP THE CAR, STOP IT" i said loudly and hyperventilating.

"You don't have much time" he said.

"Stop it right now" he stop the car in a hurry and I quickly jumped out of the car, I couldn't stop anymore, the bile finally released from my throat, I was a complete mess. I was feeling sick. Alexander was coming towards me with a comforting look but I was out of my mind.

"Stay away from me, it's because of you. Everything is your fault" I pushed him, hit him and even slap him but he still looked emotionless. He was never was a person to begin with, he proved that he is a monster and he cannot be changed.

"Hit me as much as you want but after I get you to your house, he want to see you" he said like he was felt sorry, he was sympathizing me.

"You maybe already got what you wanted. We are just pawns. Why do you care suddenly?" I asked. In that moment that was the most important question I wanted to ask and he just stood there staring at me cause he knew that he is the mistake.

"Cause it was my fault, is that what you want to hear. Yes I fucking messed up. What you want me to do?" He said.

"I don't want to see you ever again. You started the game, let me end it" I was grossed out on myself cause I felt pain not just cause my dad is dying cause I loved the wrong guy and it hurts. Why does it have to be you Alexander? Why do you have to be the bad guy? Alexander didn't say a word and starts driving. I wanted to hurt myself, I wanted to feel more pain cause I felt guilty too. It was the guilt for loving someone who was never meant to be loved. Nothing matters anymore.

After some hours, the car parked in front of my house. I saw the red and blue lighted vehicle in front of me. There were other people standing but I didn't had the time to recognise them. I rushed inside the house.

"Dad!" I screamed. Florence was sitting next to my dad. His eyes were closed and my heart beat stop for a second. My eyes lay on the heart monitor beside the bed, it was a straight line, no beat, nothing. Florence stare at me, her eyes red and teary.

"You are too late sweety, he is gone" after saying that she broke down into tears. My surrounding started spinning, I saw hazy faces.

"I couldn't tell him goodbye" I felt I was losing air out of my lungs, I couldn't breath. My heart was pounding.

"Lilian calm down" I heard Florence but it was late. I fell down on the ground with a thud and everything turns black.