When breathing becomes difficult you casually scroll through your contacts in hope there is someone who you can call
After a few seconds, you find his name
Your thumb hovers the message icon, but last time you asked if he was busy he said yes and never replied after that
You keep going but his name is throbbing in your mind, your fingers ache to type out the number that etched itself into your mind
There's more names, more people who were there at one point but probably wouldn't know what to say to you
Unknown numbers, one night stands, iPods, other people whom you might talk to at school tomorrow
The list stops scrolling
You are alone
Frantically, you scroll again, lowering your standards, evening out the playing field
Not one person would've answered you
You knew it too
Yet you stopped at his name, with tears in your eyes, texting him a hey
2 hours later you see he read it, 30 minutes later he didn't reply
A faint cracking can be heard but you deny your heart has broke, you whisper "I am okay" until your wrists are bleeding and the sun sets
Just crawl back into your bed you depressed little girl
You will breathe again
