Psycho (Han Jisung)

27. I Want To Kiss

It's been a few days, maybe five... six?? I don't know, I lost track of time inside this house. Anyways, it's been a few days since Squirrely overdosed, and I gotta admit he is doing better then I thought he would.

We started giving him the drug again on the same day, just in way smaller doses then before. Even thought he showed some sings of sweating and uneasiness, he managed to control himself. Yesterday we lowered his dose again, and he has been doing pretty good, I'm sure that by next week we'll be able to stop giving it to him.

He also picked up some TV shows. Despite his memories coming back, we still keep teaching him about different things, and keep answering his questions. Turns out he is a really curious person.

He has been watching videos of animals, industry, different civilizations, history, even English shows. He picked up some guy that teaches about K-pop and every time presents different things or groups, mostly dances tho.

I feel like my phone is his now. I don't even get 5 minutes on my own phone, since he's on YouTube every minute. Everyday feels more and more normal with him, because he is sleeping mostly at night and keeps himself up for 15 hours a day. He's probably the only 21 years old guy who gets his healthy amount of sleep a day.

His panic attacks calmed down as well, he had a few here and there but I was able to calm him down without any bigger problems. I do catch him having nightmares and just staring into space without any emotions on his face, so I just try to snap him out of his thoughts fast. Mostly it's by bringing up a random topic, sometimes when I don't know what to say I just hug him. I can't deny the fact that his hugs feel so warm and comfortable. 

I have never really hugged anyone other then Minho in my entire life, maybe a few boys here and there in high school, but I was never the type to hug people, either I let them hug me. I mean I do like it somehow, but I don't do it much. I guess he can do the magic. Even Minho is comfortable with skin ship around him, and for Minho he mostly hits people in the stomach the moment they cross the line.

The boy is also laughing a lot, he is actually really goofy. Even thought mostly he needs someone to stay next to him nonstop, the help goes both ways since he always seems to lift my spirit up somehow.

After the day he overdosed he felt really comfortable. He stopped hiding how he feels and actually talks to me about the memories that run through his mind. I didn't know his childhood never actually existed. According to what he told me, he got physically abused since he way a child all the way until he got into the hospital, but the abuse didn't stop, it just turned into mental abuse. He did have a few funny memories from school though, I can tell he tried to look on the bright side of things as much as possible and do stupid stuff like every other kid.

As for the other two boys, they still can't get over that picture. I don't know what's worst to be locked in this house for almost 2 weeks, or being locked in this house for almost 2 weeks with them. Every time we do something Minho and Jisung get so excited, that they probably makes every crow in the area of 5 meters around this house go deaf. I can't really complain since I mostly join them, and even Seungmin lets down his image and just acts how he wants.

I noticed he somehow changed since the first day he was here. At first he was stiff and professional all the time, I felt weird while cracking up a joke around him, so it felt off since he wasn't like that during high school. It seemed like his smile faded as the years passed by. BUT, thank god Han Jisung is here, because with small help of me and Minho, we manage to crack the boy and bring that wide smile back. He shows a lot more caring side now but I'm still wondering what made him change. Is it stress from school or just personal life?? I haven't seen him in years so I have no idea what is going on in this boys life.