Mask off

Wake up

( TRIGGER WARNING!!! This has mentions of depression, drugs, and suicide in it! Please be careful reading this chapter )

He couldn't see anything, only heard laughter. He tried turning his head, but he couldn't see anything. Damian started to panic, the laughter kept getting louder and louder. His hands were shaking and his heart was beating out of his chest. He turned his head back to the center of the room, where the Joker was standing. Damian gasped for air, he felt like someone was crushing his chest. He wanted to look away, to get out of this stupid chair and never come back. The laughter still danced around the room. The Joker didn't say anything, just stared and laughed. When the Joker finally stopped laughing, he smiled at Damian. Not a friendly smile, a vicious smile. Damian couldn't bring his eyes away from the Joker's face. 

The Joker slowly walked closer to Damian. His shoes banged against the hard floor of the warehouse. Damian felt like he was dying all over again. He could feel the pain in his neck, feel the knife seeping through his skin all over again. When the Joker stood right in front of Damian, Damian tried to move his legs. Tried to kick the Joker away but it did not work. The Joker lifted his hand, inching it closer to Damian. Damian held his breath, waiting for the inevitable to happen. The Joker was just an inch away from Damian-

Damian woke up, gasping for air. He brought his hand up to his neck, clawing at the skin. He took short, shallow breathes. A choked sound came out of his mouth.

His skin felt prickly; like a thousand small bugs were crawling on his skin. His heart was racing at a pace that would make Superman worried. Damian continued to scratch at his throat. His throat felt like it was closed up and his chest was pounding. The room seemed to sway, making Damian dizzy. He wasn't getting enough air. He knew he needed to calm down but he couldn't stop panicking. His cheeks were wet with tears, making his face all splotchy. 

After a few minutes, Damian finally calmed down. He was breathing normally, but his heart was still beating fast. Damian didn't know what had just happened, and he did not want to think about it. This week was supposed to a good week. No nightmares, no worries, just Damian and his mother. Damian focused on breathing for a while. Clearing his head of any thoughts that were in his mind. 

A big bang came from downstairs. Damian was startled by the noise but quickly shook it off. Damian quickly got up from his bed and headed to the sound. Maybe his mother got up and made breakfast. Damian made his way to the kitchen only to freeze. His breath hitched and it felt like the whole world has stopped.

His mother was laying on the ground, small pills were splattered on the floor.

Damian rushed over to her side, kneeling down. He collected her body in his arms. He quickly felt for a heartbeat. She had one, but it was slow and irregular. It went from slow beats too fast and unrhythmic beats. Damian felt like his chest had just caved in. He knew he was crying, but tried to focus on helping his mother.  She was barely breathing, only taking short shallow breaths. That was good, she was alive and breathing, everything would be okay. 

Damian quickly started to do CPR on his mother. Her skin was pale, with a small red tint on her cheek. "Mother" Damian chanted, trying to wake her up. She wasn't answering. Her breathes were still uneven, and her heart rate was slowing down. Damian tried to stop himself from panicking yet again. "أمي" He chanted again. He pushed down hard on her chest, trying to get her to breathe. She couldn't die like this, she couldn't die at all! He felt tears stream down his cheek, onto his mother's top.

He stopped for a moment, looking at his mother. She wasn't breathing and her heart was dangerously slow. Damian balled his hand into a fist and pounded it on his mother's chest. She still wasn't breathing. Damian spit out curses in Arabic. He tried CPR again, trying to keep his mother alive. She still wasn't breathing. Damian felt like he couldn't breathe as well. A chocked sob slipped past Damian's lips, more following suit. He brought his hands away from her chest. He quickly grabbed her wrist, checking for a pulse. His hand were shaking, but he pressed his fingers into her wrist. 

There was no heartbeat.

Damian felt again, trying to find a pulse. There wasn't anything. Damian looked down at his mother. He could barely see her with the tears filling his eyes. He dropped her wrist, staring down at her. He grabbed her, quickly collecting her body in his arms. Then, he let himself break. He screamed, letting out everything. He screamed and cried. He yelled, begging for someone to bring his mother back. He prayed for her to come back to life.

He didn't know when Mara came down. All he knew was she was prying Damian away for his mother. When Damian finally let go of his mother, his hand went around his neck. He held his neck in his hands, still screaming at the top of his lungs. Mara was quick, hugging Damian and whispering sweet nothings in his ears. Mara tried to calm Damian down. Damian felt tears on his shirt, but he didn't know if they were his or Mara's. 

Damian felt his world fall apart again. Nothing could compare to the pain he felt right now. This felt worst than dying, worst than being betrayed. He stayed there, in a puddle of his and Mara's tears, trying to figure out what had happened. Damian didn't know if he could come back from this, didn't know if he wanted to.

  

أمي - mother (Arabic)