The words I might've ate

Chapter Seven

important A/N: hi!! So if any random part of the story shows up like this, it's a flashback. It's to indicate what part of the story is present and what parts she's thinking back on. There'll be one or two 'flashbacks' in this one and maybe other chapters. Just so y'know :)

He bursted through the door with in a matter of seconds. As his eyes found me he slowly stood straight. I could see the pity stained down his cheeks, I sighed.

"Night," He whispered. A Look of guilt burning on his face.

I couldn't help but sneer. "Matthew." I breathed in, slowly. My breath shook. "You didn't... did you?"

"Night. Nightlyn- no listen to me-" He stepped closer, taking my hands. "I drank way too much- I blacked out- honestly- before I knew it-"

"-Oh Matthew don't," I winced, dropping his hands. I perused my lips as I tried my hardest not to cry.

"I can explain all of it. I swear it was just a bad night- I had a drink and before I knew it Ethan had brought coke out and then-" He blabbered on, desperation all on his face as his eyes stayed to me.

"-Matthew." I interrupted. I watched him for a few more seconds. Trying hard to find the voice I had. When I did, dragging it back up through my closing throat, I could feel tears begin. "You cheated on me?" My voice was barley there, only beyond a raspy whisper.

A breath seemed to hitch with in him, before his eyes stared down at the ground. He took a long breath in, before his gaze was back to me. "I'm so, so sorry,"

I couldn't take my eyes off of him. To see him squirm in his guilt. I knew this too well.

He wasn't guilty for what he did. He was guilty he got caught.

"Who was she?" I questioned. Staring straight through him.

He repositioned his feet uncomfortably before the ramble of lies began. "It was a mistake- and you know- I love you- I love you so much, it didn't mean anything-"

I felt my eye lids twitch as I squinted at him judgingly. "-You're not going to tell me?"

He looked at me confused. "Who she was?"

My arms crossed, as I nodded. A tear has spilt from one eye as I resisted the urge to wipe it. Watching him panic.

"You want me to tell you who it was with?" He asked again. "It didn't mean anything- I mean- I hardly even knew her-"

"-Fine." I interputtered. Voice deadpan. "That's okay. I don't think I want to know,"

He winced. "Nightlyn. Come on, don't do this to me, please,"

"No." I blubbered slightly, raising my voice. "Don't ask me not to do this. Don't ask me not to do this to you. This is your fault,"

"Night it didn't mean anything!" He panicked again, realising I was losing interest. "I promise I wouldn't do that to you,"

He stepped closer. An attempt to grab my shoulders. But I stepped back sternly.

My eyes found the floor. I couldn't look at him any longer. All those warnings and those red flags I turned a blind eye to was kicking me straight to the ground.

"I don't want to know anything." I finally stated. Only half confident. "I don't want to know what you did." My eyes snapped back up to him. As I felt my arms tense. "I don't want to know who she was. I don't want to know where, or when. And I don't want at all to know how it happened."