The words I might've ate

Chapter Eight

"And he loves her and all that junk and now I don't know what to do," I mumbled, almost ashamed of the way I felt, fidgeting nervously with my hands as I sat on the end of my older brothers bed.

Bear squinted, but hung his head slightly to the side. Giving me that 'older siblings know best' look, before injecting his input. "I think you're exaggerating with the word love Night,"

"Maybe I am." I admitted, letting a heavy sigh out. Yet I knew how I felt about this, it did feel as dramatic as I was making it. "But he likes her. His only problem is she's too perfect. Imagine you're only flaw being that you're so perfect you make other people insecure about their faults?"

Maybe I was just angry. Angry at myself and trying to pick fault out of another girl. Jealousy was a horrid thing to stomach, I'd never dealt with feelings like these too well.

"Sound like you really envy her," He mumbled listening. Slouched with bad posture in his desk chair that was rotated to face me.

"Maybe I do," I shrugged. My eyes led back up to see Bear, my brother, before shrugging. "Would that be bad? If I did?"

Bear squinted slightly, he seemed to pick his nexts words carefully. "It depends... how much,"

"Well... y'know? Just a little. Not a lot. Just a little bit,"

"Because Billie likes her?" He questioned. "Or because she's 'perfect'?"

"See- I don't know," I breathed out. I flexed my hands, stopping with fidgeting, letting them rest still in my lap. "I've never cared about being perfect. Or being at that high beauty standard. I mean- I still don't. But- I never even realised that Billie may have used to like me. And now right in front of my eyes I'm watching him move away to this better girl,"

Bears lips had the trace of a small smile across them. "Everyone could tell Billie liked you Nightlyn,"

"Everyone but me," I grumbled.

"You really didn't see it?" He asked sceptically. "Not at all?"

"Not at all! I mean- I just always thought he was a really caring friend. And I thought that's all we was. And would ever be. I never realised I had these feelings that could come out of no where for him. It was so weird. Because he was just my best friend and that was it- up until now anyway,"

Bear shrugged. "I always told you he liked you,"

Involuntary, my eyes rolled. There it was. That 'I'm older, therefor I'm wiser and I told you so.' "I thought that was just a thing all big brothers say when they're sisters have friends,"

"Dad would say it too," He reminded.

As if I didn't have enough regret. Now I could practically kick myself. "I thought you guys were just trying to annoy me!"

I bit my bottom lip in frustration. I felt like an idiot for never have realising anything.

Billie was my best friend. And now? He's still my best friend- but I can't help but admire him. Which is so extremely odd.

"What's this Nova like anyway?" Bear spoke up after a few seconds.

Of course bear would want to know what Nova looks like, I've been sat grumbling about how perfect she is for the past ten minutes.

I hummed for a second. Thinking. "She's everything I'm not,"

Bear cringed. "That's depressing,"

"No- I mean. She's everything I'm not- she's way different to me. Nothing alike. She's got blonde hair and blue eyes. Your typical Barbie,"