The Deathly love

I'm not okay, I'm not well, I'm not good.

                             Still Draco's POV
I walked through the halls.
Trudging along trying to get to my first class of the day which is transfiguration.
I'm not so upset about that, it's anything better than being with Snape first thing in the morning.
I fumbled here and there with my face all puffy with streams of dry tears along my pink cheeks.
My dress shoes clicking even louder when I tried not to trip the best I could.
I kept my head low not wanting anyone to see that Draco Malfoy has actually cried.
I tried to fix my messy hair that was sticking up here and there looking like I almost just had the worst sex
Of my life.
I pulled my sleeves up on my shacking wrists.

I gripped my book bag tighter swirling through the crowd of students hurrying to there next class.
My chest bumping into a group of short boys who looked like weird little dorks I could bully around how ever I wanted to.
I passed through groups of girls with curly long hair whispering to each other and giggling obnoxiously.
Then I bumped into the one girl i didn't want to end up seeing.
PANSY PARKINSON
The short girl looked up to me with her big brown puppy dog eyes.
Her shiny choppy hair waving around her cheeks while she tries to steady herself.
"Hey Draco I was kinda hoping I'd bump into you"
She said with her irritating voice flipping her hair off her shoulder to take a step closer to me.
Wish I could say the same about bumping into you.
I looked down at her creeping up to me.
"Hello pansy"
I said frowning watching her move her hand up to my chest to walk her finger just along it.
I took a step back from her.
"Are you ok?"
She asked calmly tilting her head
I'm not ok with you around.
"I'm fine I'm just trying to get to transfiguration actually"
"Oh you know you could just skip and hang out with me for awhile"
She took a closer step to me making me take a deep breath from my nose.
"I really should go now"
I took another step back away from her.

Do I want to hook up with her?
I've only done once and I'll regret that decision for the rest of my life.
I could hook up with her just this once to get my angering sadness  out.
I haven't hooked up with someone for awhile what if I just did this once.
No.
I'd only do it to imagine Lillian under me screaming and moaning my name.
"No need to be afraid of me"
She seethes smirkingly
"No I got to go"
I grunted taking a step away from the freak walking as fast as I can.
"BUT DRACO"
she cried out
"Draco!"
I kept walking ignoring her pathetic calling of my name.
———————————————————————————
" The Bird Conjuring Charm is advanced transfiguration"
McGonagall hummed looking around the class holding her wand rather loose between her fingers.
"But it is very simple and should be easily done"
She said looking directly at Seamus finnigan who was playing with his quill and ruffling his sandy hair.
"Now stand up and try it come on now"
She motioned her arms up in a way to nudge us all  to get up on our feet.
I stood up taking my wand out of my pocket.
I wasn't to excited for this spell.
I've never really liked birds.
AVIS!
The class shouted.
Millions of pastel yellow birds popped out of the tips of our wands.
With smoke filling the air.

The spell made a loud popping sound like a gun or a fire work being set off.
"Well done well done"
McGonagall clapped looking around the room with a slight smile.
"Oh no no"
She clicked her tongue.
Seamus finnigan has had a bird shit right on his head.
His eyes wide in horror and a frown meeting the sides of his lips.
McGonagall walked up to him pulling him out of the classroom by his collar.
I started to laugh softly under my breath but quickly
someone stopped that.
"You know Malfoy laughing doesn't make it funny it just makes you immature"
Hermione grangers annoying voice sprang through my ears.

Would the mudblood ever shut up.
I turned my head to look at the curly haired girl giving me a nasty scowl.
"Not my fault you can't take a joke mudblood"
I said turning my head back to the front of the classroom.
She snickered behind me not saying another word.
———————————————————————————
I walked into the great hall.
Instantly seeing Snape sitting at the front of the room looking straight at me with his cold eyes.
How much I just wanted to pull out my wand and yell avada kedavra.
Watching a green bolt come out of my wand and hit him right in the chest.
But I have a little more self control than that.
And not to mention I'd be in Azkaban feeding on dead things if I were to do that.
I walked over to where Blaise is sitting reading a book placed on the table next to his plate of food.
Flipping through the pages quickly and scanning the page down before flipping once again.
"Hey Blaise"
I sighed lifting my leg up to throw my body on the seat.

He looked up to me with his big dark brown eyes chewing aggressively on a piece of fried chicken.
"Hi"
He said muffled by his loud chews.
Did he ever learn not to talk with a mouth full?
"You excited for the quidditch game Friday"
I asked picking steak up with my fork before plopping it on my plate.
I wasn't really hungry.
Well I was.
But I just didn't feel like eating.
All I wanted was Lillian nothing more and it seems like she's one of the only things I can think about...

"Of course I am man,we're going to win this Gryiffindors won't stand a chance"
He wiped his mouth before taking a big swish of water.
"You better get that snitch this time Malfoy"
I clenched my jaw.
Cutting into my juicy piece of rare cooked steak.
I looked up furiously before sighing.
"Yeah I will trust me"
I sighed again looking back down at my food before talking a bite.
I savored the taste of the pepper and salt.
"Something up with you?"
Blaise asked taking another sip from his goblet.

Eyes still wide and looking at me.
"Nope not at all"
We all know that's a lie.

I'M NOT OKAY.
I'M NOT WELL.
I'M NOT GOOD.

I'm failing in almost every class besides potions.
I lost last quidditch game.
I'm scared of the letters I receive from my father.
And I can't get to Lillian.

"Just making sure"
He said looking back down to his book.
"I wonder why 7th floor is closed"
He traced his fingers under a line of text.
"That's it!"
He smiled jotting whatever he has read on a piece of parchment.
"Yeah me too"
I lied looking back up to Snape  who seemed to be looking at Harry Potter very sternly.
I turned my head over to Harry who seemed to be having a very interesting argument with granger.
I have to talk to him.
I don't want to.

But I should for Lillian.
I looked back to Blaise who was now moving around almost like a dance taking another bite of his food.
He looked at me and smiled.
Which made me laugh softly.
"You look awful happy about those mashed potatoes"
I laughed under my breathe looking at Blaise still moving around flashing his big shitty grin.
" I am"
He muffled still dancing
———————————————————————————
I walked in my lonely dorm.
My father insisted I got my own dorm all to myself.
Money does great things.
I flopped onto my bed laying on my back.
Then I felt something under me.
That made a crumbling noice.
I sat up looking behind me to see a envelope with the words.
To Draco
Your father Lucius
I took a deep breathe into my nose.

Instantly feeling my anxiety come on.
I pulled the envelope up in my trembling hands.
I turned my body around so my legs could dangle off the edge.
I turned it over seeing the big green stamp looking like it needed to get opened.
Sorry for not posting my life is busy haha but I hope you like it💚