The Deathly love

Green.

                                  Lillian's POV

From now on they'll be pictures that go with the chapter because why not. Here's a picture of the closest thing I could find to describe her bedroom.

It's been long cold November days.
Sitting in a room looking through a window as if it will open up and let me come out to the real world.
A world where I can smell the grass and feel the soil underneath me, a world where I can see my friends and family to celebrate holidays.
But instead spending days of sitting in my lonely bed staring at the white ceiling hearing the old wooden clock tick and chime.
Trying to draw or write bleeding my heart through the pages looking at my ink that will be gone in any second.
Ive changed.
I used to be the girl who smiled, who laughed, who always seemed overjoyed, that one girl in the back of the class that would giggle with her friends, friends that she can't see anymore....
I never thought I could appreciate my past life so much but here I am sitting in a damn room every minute of the day.

My life has changed.
Losing people changes you.
To a human embodiment you never knew you could become.
Thousands of knifes getting stabbed into your back,
Sadness filling your glassy eyes, and scars getting dragged along your heart noticing you can't fix everything with just a bandaid.
I was beautiful.
I was the only person that would stop bullies from picking on the first years.
The only girl who would compliment the most hated person in school.
The only one who would make sure all the owls in the owlery had gotten there food but I'm tired of following all the rules.
I'm breaking out.

I sighed for a second questioning myself.
If Snape finds out I have broken out of this room would he truly kill me?
Would he put thousands of locks on my door?
Would he put curtains over my window so I could never open up to see the blue sky?
But what if he doesn't find out?
I would have a chance.
A chance to see the hallways again.
A chance to walk around on the stone floors feeling the earth underneath my toes.

Should I take this chance?
Should I just do it?
Oh what am I thinking I need to break out of this hell hole at least once.
I got up aggressively pushing my chair back hearing it scratching it's claws on the stone ground.
I took a deep breathe through my nose.
The heavy air going through my blood pumping to my heart.
I shivered slightly feeling goose bumps start to form on my arms.
Im nervous.

The type of nervous where you'd feel butterflies in your stomach.
But these weren't butterflies, they were big herds of bulls stomping they're heavy prideful hooves straight in my gut making it shudder and tremble.
Millions of bumble bees stinging and poking at my stomach making my eyes watery and terrified of what will happen next.
Monkeys climbing on my rib cage putting there big hands over my bones and pushing all they're weight into them.
I laughed softly to myself.
What am I doing.
I walked to the door feeling more like an idiot by the second.
I creaked it open hearing the unnerving nose come threw it shaking my hand slightly.

I hesitated while taking a step into the hallway.
It's the darkest hallway in the school.
It has dimly lit torches making it have a almost purple glow.
It's just a mysterious hallway.
Seething it's quietness into your skin.
Humming at your ears.
I looked both ways down the hall seeing nothing in sight.
I creeped along as quietly as I could walking past one single statue of a knight in his shiny metal outfit.

I looked at him for a few seconds.
I don't know what it was about this statue but it made me feel intrigued.
Tempted to touch its shiny armor.
I looked at it wondering what it was I was so fascinated about.
I looked away sighing starring down the long carpeted hallway.
I took a few more steps looking to the side out of the slightly tinted windows.
I saw the black lack.
It was so calm and peaceful.