No one ever told me that love would hurt so much

Chapter 01

♾ Jughead ♾

*Twins are 2 months old*

I slept in rather late.

For the past time, I haven't gotten much sleep — not that I slept much before anyways. But before Emilia and Myles had arrived, I at least was able to take some naps through the day, which I couldn't do now, not really at least. The twins were awake at day, so I mostly played with them, though I got some sleep whenever they took a nap, which was roughly every now and then every two hours.

Upon waking up, I noticed that I was cuddled up to Betty, so I backed off a little bit. Next thing I noticed was that it was awfully quiet, so the twins should still be sleeping. That was a good thing because it meant that I could enjoy a bit more alone time.

I tried to get up but Betty was holding onto me too much and I couldn't get away. I sighed, trying to move her hands, though she only held onto me tighter.

"Please, Betts, let me go" I whispered, not wanting to wake her up, but she didn't move "Please, Betty, come on" she stirred a bit and then her eyes fluttered open. She smiled sleepily.

"Morning"

"Just go back to sleep, I'm sure that you're still tired"

"I can't sleep without you" I sighed.

"I'll be right back, okay? I just have to go to the bathroom real quick" Betty nodded and let go of me, so I got out of bed and then walked to the bathroom. There was a slight chance that she would fall back asleep again while I was in here.

Sadly she didn't, so after walking out of the bathroom, I went over to the bed and laid down next to her again. Once she was cuddled up to me again, Betty fell asleep soon after. When I saw that she was asleep, I tried to get out of bed another time. I tried not to wake her up but me struggling only resulted in her cuddling up to me more. I groaned, trying to get her off of me, so I could get out of bed but she held onto me.

"Betty, please, let me go, I want check up on Myles and Emilia" I said, not wanting to wake her up but maybe it subconsciously made her turn away from me. She stirred again and then opened her eyes.

"Jug?" she asked and I hummed.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up. I just wanted to go and check on the twins but you were cuddled up to me, so that I couldn't go away" I apologized and she hummed, closing her eyes again.

"It's okay, don't worry, I just woke up"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, just go back to sleep, okay?"

"It's okay Juggy, you don't always have to cuddle with me, okay? I just like when you cuddle me because it's easier to fall asleep then" I nodded "What's wrong?" she asked, after I had stayed quiet. I sighed.

"Nothing, just go back to sleep, okay?" she nodded, though she grabbed my hand when I wanted to get up.

"You don't have to cuddle me, okay?" I hummed.

"I know" I got out of bed and then walked downstairs. I checked in on the twins and then spend some time on my laptop, trying to write something again. In the end, when Myles and Emilia woke up, I was still left with a blank page.

When I heard crying from upstairs, or more through the baby phone, I closed my laptop and then headed upstairs to go get them. I knew that I couldn't feed them yet, since only Betty can, but maybe I could calm them down in another way or maybe they just needed a diaper change. There were endless reasons to why they could cry. I was trying to give Betty as much sleep as she could get, since many times, I just fall asleep in the day when she stayed up.

But it was no surprise to me when Betty soon walked downstairs. So then while she was feeding our children, I made her some breakfast, which was yogurt with fruits today. After she was done, I walked over to the couch — where Betty just finished feeding Emilia and laid her down in the pillow nest. I reached her the bowl with a spoon, before sitting down on the couch myself with the yogurt that I got for me. Though I only got a small cup of plain yogurt.

"Thank you, Jug" she said, smiling softly.

"You're welcome" I said and she smiled even more, rocking closer to lean her head on my shoulder.

"You know, you make me so incredibly happy" she whispered and I smiled.

"You make me happy too"

"I try to... you just sometimes look like I can't do that..." she mumbled and I sighed.

"No, you make me so happy, Betty, believe me. I just sometimes can't show it"

For lunch, we went to Pops with the twins.

"What do you want to eat?" she asked and I shrugged, playing with a rattle, that was bound to each carry handle of the baby seats for our newborns, in order to entertain Myles. We had one on Emilia's seat too but she was once again asleep.

"Uhm... nothing, I'll just have a milkshake" she nodded. Betty soon got her food and started with the salad, then moved on with the fries. I asked if I could have some too and she nodded — of course she did. Betty knows that I wasn't eating — a lot. She offered me everything she could, though I only ended up eating the minimum of that. Betty didn't speak up about it though, not yet at least.

I did not eat much from her fries.

Meanwhile, I played with Myles and Emilia and occasionally sipped on my milkshake. Emilia slept through, so I only entertained Myles with the toys that were attached to the carry handle and his plush elephant, which he got from Archie and Veronica when they were born.

"You okay?" Betty asked and I hummed.

"Yeah," I cleared my throat "Yeah, everything is fine, don't worry" I reassured her and she nodded.

"Okay, just wanted to make sure, you've been quiet recently, that's all"

"I know... it's just a lot, you know?"

"Well..." she trailed off "you could always start taking the pills again..." I shook my head "Please Jug?" I shook my head.

"I can't. I'm sorry... but I won't take them anymore" she sighed "I'm sorry..." she shook her head.

"No, don't be sorry, it's okay. Can I ask why though?"

"You wouldn't understand it anyways..." I groaned "I shouldn't be so whiney about it... I'm sorry..." Betty sighed softly, putting her milkshake down and then reaching over to grab my hand.

"Jug, please, stop apologizing, there's nothing you have to be sorry for. You have problems and I get that, okay?" I nodded, taking a few deep breathes.

"I don't know what's up with me... You just have to tell me when I'm too much, okay?"

"You aren't, don't worry"

"I just... I drag you down all the time and I don't know how to fix this, I don't know how to fix me, Betty" she squeezed my hand.

"You don't need to be fixed, Jug, you aren't broken like a toy. You might have problems but that's okay. I just want you to tell me what's going on, please" I sighed but nodded.

"Okay... I just..." I started to fidget with my fingers, like I always do when I'm nervous, while she continued to hold my hand.

"It's okay, just tell me when you want"

"It's just... weird... I guess. I don't know, I mean... they do kind of help but- I don't know. I do... I mean, I don't feel that down anymore when I take them but at the same time I also... it's just... different? It's like... they're making me numb" she nodded.

"Thank you for telling me"

"You aren't mad, are you?" I bit my lip nervously.

"No, I could never be mad or disappointed, not about this, okay?" I nodded. After Betty finished eating and I finished my milkshake, we soon paid and then went home.

The rest of the day went by like normal. Myles and Emilia soon had their nap and I fell asleep for around an hour with them.