Love that Hurts

YES OR NO?

What would be the assurance that he wouldn't bother her after a month? Raina had no intention of getting back together with Aryan after all she had been through, but the fact that he was ready to pull people into their matter irrespective of other things was what bothered her. Did Raina still have feelings for him? No? She wasn't sure. Its hard to hate a person you have loved, you always end up caring for them even if you are cursing them every other second. Things like that become second nature when you start loving someone. Was it love that she felt for him? She wasn't sure of that either. What if what she had felt for him was just her desire to make him feel attracted towards her? What if what she felt was just a coping mechanism for her already dejected self? She never loved him to begin with, but him loving her or even liking her would have satisfied her. It would have made her feel less worthless, less insignificant. But now that he wanted her back, did she feel better, someone important? Maybe no, maybe yes. Would she risk having her dignity being trampled over just to feel validated? No? Again, she didn't know. The uncertainty was eating her away. She wanted to protect the last bit of her dignity but she also wanted to keep her father out of the way. She would go out with him, she decided. She wouldn't stray away from every scar that was given to her, she would keep everything in mind and would just force herself. Was it right? No.  

"I wouldn't, take my word for it."

"Fine, I have some ground rules."

Aryan arched his eyebrow, intrigued ,"Go ahead."

"No touching, no forcing me to go on dates, no incessant calling and no dictating where I go and who I meet."

"Okay, but you will have to go on date at least thrice a week, you will let me drop you off to work and then take back home, and will have to spend at least two hours with me a day."

"Fine. Again, If I am not of the opinion to get back together with you after a month from now you will go away and never show your face."

"Agreed." ,Aryan said as he clenched his jaw.

"Let me drop you."

"No I will make use of the luxury of being abstained from your company as much as I can."

"Fancy Raina with her fancy words. Come on, let me drop you."

"Again, thanks but no thanks. I would rather not be thrown out of the car in the middle of the road."

Aryan was reminded of the time he had done that to her and he felt guilty, "Raina look-"

"I'll let you leave now." ,Raina mocked him and exited the room with hurried steps.

She stepped out of the building and took a deep breathe, had she made a mistake? Probably yes, all the voices in her said that she had made a mistake. Was their any other choice left? Yes, she couldve said no and watched her father suffer. Was she that selfish? No. The realization of her mistakes were banging against the sides of her head. STUPID! STUPID! WEAK! 

As she slowly developed a headache, she went to sleep.

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Next Day

Raina woke up as her alarm buzzed, and attacked her eardrums through the pillow. She had nothing to occupy herself with that day, she would be returning to New York the next day. She brushed her teeth, did the next of her morning business and changed into a grey hoodie and pants and headed out of her hotel suite to catch some fresh air. Connecticut was beautiful and peaceful, maybe she could move their someday who knows? As she slowly walked through the streets, she started recollecting her memories. So as to ensure she doesn't fall in a trap, she remembers everything and will not forget.