feelings are fatal

-9-

Luke nearly dropped his phone.

"In the hospital?! Mum, what's he doing in the hospital?" Luke exclaimed, his heart beating fast.

Liz didn't reply. "I can't talk right now.." she said softly.

"Mum, come pick me up.. please!" Luke exclaimed. He held his head and sighed. What was happening to Ashton.. he could be dead...

"I will," Liz said. "I'll be there in 10.. just, get to class, alright?"

Luke nodded and turned his phone off, looking at calum. Calum began to ask him what happened but luke just pushed past him, heading off to class.

He didn't pay any attention to what the teacher said, so he was really happy when the intercom came on to tell his teacher that luke was leaving.

He tried to keep his tears back as he walked out of the classroom. Once he was out he ran, sprinted down the hall to the office.

He stopped when he saw his mom and just walked past her, walking out to the parking lot. He got in the black G Wagon and put his head in his hands, bad thoughts filling his head.

"What if Ashton's dead?"

"What happened to him?"

"He could be dead..."

"The last thing I did was cheat on him.. he's going to die and the last thing I did was cheat on him.."

Luke calmed his thoughts by talking to his mom.

"So.. what happened with you going to work?" he asked her, fiddling with his fingers.

Liz shrugged and pulled out of the parking lot, pulling into the street. "I was halfway to work when Anne called.. she sounded terrified," she said. "I hope he's okay.. I never want to say anything but he always looks sad.."

She took a deep breath, glancing at luke.

"I-I think... he might be in the hospital for... attempted suicide."

Luke's eyes widened. He hadn't even thought of that...

"Don't say that mom," he snapped, harsher than he meant. "He wouldn't do that. He's not like that. He knows how much he means to me and to others he would never commit suicide."

Liz sighed. "Thats not how depression works Lu-"

Luke put his hands over his face. "He doesn't have fucking depression mom! He's perfectly happy!"

Liz only nodded. but she could tell ashton was depressed. He had that empty, sad look in his eyes, and she could tell even when he feigned that he was happy, that he really wasn't.

As soon as they got to the hospital, Luke ran inside, asking the woman working at the front desk where ashton was. She gave him the room number then watched the tall blonde run off to the elevators.

With his hand shaking, the boy pressed the button to the fourth floor repeatedly until the door closed. He leaned against the walls as it went up, his heart beating fast in his chest.