feelings are fatal

-11-

While Luke was out having the time of his life, Ashton was suffering.

He had lay in bed, spaced out as Luke talked to him.

He had stopped paying him any attention, he had stopped talking to him for his voice hurt him, knowing that they could no longer date. His throat hurt, everything in his body hurt. His arms, his legs, everything. He just zoned out to ignore the horrible amount of pain in his body.

He had looked at Luke as he walked away, his neck hurting so, so bad as he took a breath to speak. He wanted to speak to Luke, the love of his life. He inhaled, sitting up a little so he could gain some oxygen.

Ashton watched as Luke walked towards the door, trying to produce a sound from his throat. Right as Luke was starting to shut the door behind him, he managed to gather some strength.

"Thank you, Lu."

Those 3 little words hurt his throat bad, so he was glad he didn't have to continue to speak. He saw the corner of Luke's mouth lift up in a smile, and that smile, the smile that he absolutely adored, made the large amounts of pain worth it.

He watched Luke exit the room, his own mouth twisting into a smile. Even the smile hurt, so he dropped it and slowly started laying himself down on the bed, his face twisting in pure pain as he moved his hurt body. He lay in the comfortable bed, zoning out again.

The minutes passed like seconds, he barely even felt when Liz entered his bedroom with a plate of food in hand.

He focused his eyes on the kind woman, trying to form a smile for her. But it pained him too much, so he kept his grim expression.

Liz smiled down at him, setting the plate of food down on the nightstand next to him. She sat at the edge of the bed, laying a hand on Ashtons leg. Ashton winced when she did that, but he didn't have the heart to pull away from the woman.

"Andy's gonna come in here with his computer here soon, sweetie. He's gonna ask you some more questions about your stepdad," she told him.

Ashton just blinked, though in his mind he wanted to scream. That was the third time that week that he had to speak about what had happened to him. He hated reliving his trauma, but in order to 'get justice' he had to repeat the same stories.

Over and over again.

Relive that awful trauma, remember those awful memories.

Over and over again.

He was getting sick of it, but he didn't want to protest. These were the people that were housing him for now, after all.

Liz looked into his eyes, trying to find the light inside them. She just saw emotionless eyes staring back at him. She pat his knee once again, getting up from the bed and walking out of the bedroom.

Once Liz was gone, Ashton very slowly sat up. He winced at the pain and reached for the plate. He set it in his lap, whimpering as he moved his hurt arm to grab the fork. He ate slowly, grateful that he could have a hot meal.

Soon, he finished his food. He set the plate back down, staying sitting up as he gazed at the empty, blank wall. He lay unmoving, not moving his gaze when Andy walked in.

He started telling the same terrible story to Andy, reliving the abuse. He tried to quickly skip over the rape part, but Andy backtracked to it.

"I need you to tell this more in detail, Ashton," he said, lifting his gaze to the blonde boy. He was surprised when Ashton's eyes moved to him, his eyes filled with sadness and fear. Filled with tears.

That's when Andy realized how much damage he was doing to Ashton by asking him to describe what had happened over and over again.

Ashton's face twisted into an expression of pain as he shook his head. "I can't.. please..." he whispered, being to be left alone from that topic.